initially tonight was s'posed to be on my toes and finish up all those tutorials dued tmw as well as prepare the youth worship songs and coordinate the planet shaker concert outing, confirm with the people and such. well after bathing and attempting to read heart of darkness, i crawled into bed with a self-made promise that it was just a minute's lie in, afterwhich i'd be rejuvenated and able to do all the above and more, including getting online to talk with a friend of whom i miss dearly as well as game (im so close to leveling). :S

today, of no significance other then being one of which my contacts were not a constant source of irritation! :P i even wore them through training haha. today wasnt the toughest training, but for every miss of the shuttle, had to drop push-ups. zzzz. of course michelle cheated a little when mr foo wasnt lookin lah! my arms were relatively numb after those push ups.

anw whats with teachers and SKIN TIGHT outfits? ewww. some dont even have the figure to flaunt rlly. :S

theres a whole mirade of sms-es i have not replied. zzz. sorries to xp, debbie, pierre, mike, mates, reyes and some number whom i dont recognise. ill try to reply asap before i hit the sack again.

aight my neck is cramping bad
i cant wait for national day. talk bout a need for a good break.

okay. this is utterly discomfiting. i cant help but squirm as reality hits home again, despite my previous accurate predictions. i had hoped so badly that it wouldnt turn out this way, but reason and logic often rules over mere wishes.

argh. looks like things are only gnna get more complicated from here on. im gnna try my best to be objective. and try to be as supportive, as i possibly can

REALLY

even if it kills me. :S

im gnna need a hell lot of tolerance. lets see how much hair i have on my head after this week :X

this is but a kind reminder to myself; i'd better not screw up my own life.
im gnna need a hell lot of discipline if i want to study, game, read my books, sleep, eat, go out, spend my entire weekends in church.

some statistics:
the number of novels i finish in a day - 1 & 1/2
the number of hours i spend trying to complete my hw - 10 mins to up to 1 & 1/2 hr max
the number of hours i spen on my gaming per day - on average 4 - 5 hours
the number of hours i wish i could just run away from it all - 15 hours a day
the number of foolscap i use a week - at least one or more
the number of sweets i eat a day - at least 5 - ..... uncountable

theres so much that i dont want to give up, theres so much i want to do. and it just boils down to this one very thing that i lack. discipline. what a sorry word :(

ive caught back on the reading bug, as i used to when i was younger (i.e my secondary school days and beyond). books are such love, if only i could read and do nothing but that.

anyway i got the high school musical mp3s from XP! wheee~ ive been wanting to get them for ages and ages. msn is too slow lah :S

its so nice to be on top of things.
please dont let me slip

people open and close doors all the time. it all boils to being at the right door, at the right time, when it swings open and you can run in safely.

if only.

gosh. fourteen emails over a day, and 46 junk mail. yucks. i get rlly annoyed when people send me forwarded messages, especially if its the usual chain mail sort of rubbish.

anyway today was cool.
met up with joyful and joce. missed both of them sososo much heh. they look the same as ever. :D we had thai express at raffles city and had ben & jerry's for dessert. before meeting up i was at a surf shop, saw this really nice strap top or whatever you want to call it. its 44 bucks tho, ill have to consider carefully since i hardly wear the strappy sorts of things anyway!

the 'rents were nice enough to buy me more fbts whilst i was hangin out with them :)

now, only if i didnt have to read Heart of Darkness or do Econs Essays! :(
for a ten mark question, im at 2 sides and still incomplete :x zzzz.

tibia is love.
BTW natasha is gey. repeatedly she sends me love messages LOL :P

just woke up but anyhow
I HAVE TO COMPLETE MY HW THIS AFTERNOON :(

econs is such a drag. so damn many essays to do, questions to 'prepare'. if i dont do decently for econs, ill jump off the china wall, cos its the subject with the most to do! ms sue is killing us all.

the big perk of today, however, lies in the fact that ill be going out with jocelyn and joy for dinner! i miss my girls so much lol. all different JCs, something i'd have never expected last year.

hmm i wonder how was lake house movie one on one :O sighs.

sorry shawn ill have to ditch you this thurs, i just rememberd i got CCA :( so much for wanting to watch a movie.

tibia is love. premium is extra love. its ohtooeasy to level now.

SO HAPPY OKAY. i got back after training and i GOT A LETTER FROM NICOLE TAN FROM MELBOURNE AUSTRALIA! :D love ya nic! it was THREE pages long with bubble gumm and candy fruit Starburst lip gloss to boot :) wheee~ it completely made my day okay.

acadamia wise today was okay. i borrowed another book from the book vending machine. yes i am still extremely fascinated by it heh.

badminton was okay, slack lol. playing with kelvin and esp lychee has always been fun. can bully lychee on the court :)

made a sot of myself after badminton training. without my contacts, nor any of my wits after training, i blabbered. its rare i do that. haha w/e, that person in question probably think im psycho now. nevermind.

OH i forgot to add on bout a significant happening today. i got sent to the VP over PW lecture :S zzz. ill make it thru in one piece no worries, as i usually do.

finally accordin to jas (the best source), pierre took a green form today. whatever it is take care! and same goes to dennis zhu, nevermind that maybe he didnt come to school cos he wanted to SLEEP. HAHA.

singapore idol is such love. okay at least a few contestants are. but they are all wearin suits lah yucks.

someone super nice got me tibia premmy.. awwww :) means i have to game and use it tho. but man IM IN LOVE already. with tibia game premium that is. teehee. travellings so convenient now and EDRON is so dammmmn pretty :D

schoolmates are such loves. nevermind that people like zukai are weird. you can see him checking out every GUY out there. he'd go "EH that guy has a perky butt!" zzzz. and thank you pierre for that favour :)

and i thought Joakim Gomez sang well last night. on tune and on pitch. he did it :DDDD yes and i voted for him lol. but yesterday's Singapore Idol spectaculars were sort of dull, im not into jazz plus i was furiously reading my lit text for todays lit test.

jasmines gnna go england this sunday for the cambridge trip lucky duck! im gnna miss her, but im sure pierre will miss her more HAHAA

mel adora and diy swears that i have an attitude face. no surprise there :S

and there's that underlying attraction that im not admitting to
till when will i yield?

i probably only remember bout half of the relationships ive been in. some things are not worth remembering, while others i still occasionally ponder about.
break out of the clutches of the past

remember the days;

' We're soarin, flyin
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach
If we're trying '
-breaking free.

school is getting less exciting, most of us are half dead in classes and pretty much sick of the pressure cooker system. plus stoning and fall asleep are too common a feature now despite repeated attempts to stay awake. tmw's lit test so i gotta read finish the book sighs. and i know what are the odds.. i wont go on too much. anyway i passed the MC consolidation test, but nothing impressive there. should have done even better. its getting repetitive now, the work. and finishing them is nothing but going through the motion. i suppose i should be glad that i am able to get thru most of them easily enough. a plus point today was the book vending machine of which i got myself a book, and completed it in under an hour. the joys of reading!

sometimes i feel that im light years apart from the rest of the world.

tonight's deal: Singapore Idol. ill be hanging off my seat for Joakim Gomez :) and then ill take an early night (i hope). my system's bout to blow out on me.

most importantly, i cant let myself down.
nevermind the rest of the world, i just gotta look up to where i wanna be at and get there, somehow. its too bad that the process' painful and my expectations are quite high. i should all put this in His hands.


You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are.

tuesdays are long days.
plus free study period was taken up by maths tutorial, so DOUBLE maths tutorial today. lit was painful; nothing can be worse than forcing yourself to open up your eyes every other second when all you want to do is to succumb to the fatigue (yes at 745am in the morning!). history was more peaceful, i had a good straight sleep. i didnt get caught either :D tee hee, guess all those years of practice has not gone to waste! such skills are too intricate for the slow to pick up hurhur.

was antagonised by some people and some things that happened. it honestly would do all of us good if this person in question would shut his mouth more often. and when michelle is irritated, it is translated through her mouth. it is only obvious, yet some people cannot seem to get the hint! and another issue; it is not about a tit for a tat. rather it is better to consider the consequence of what is being told. in this case, it has been grossly miscalculated. in short, just because the recepient of the information may manipulate it in a negative manner is good reason enough to not open the mouth.

one major problem with me is that just as i hold up high expectations for myself, i do so with some of friends as well, dont ask me why.

but the grey hues of the skies were brightened up by just one phone call whilst i was attempting my maths tutorial. its really too easy to make me happy lol. :D

sometimes i feel like an awful cow for saying lesser than nice things. of course this is never ever behind someones back, im only too straight forward for that.

as of the late, im sinking into my introverted self. now dont laugh. i can be disgusting introverted when i want to be, similarly for the adverse. i dnno who said this but it was something about how a person has many many layers. my question to you is, i suppose, which layer are you at? the uppermost?

go figure. LOL
btw sam's got a blog. :D HAHAA

i flew through lessons today, i really have to thank God for all the energy hes given me especially since i had barely 3 hours of sleep. :S yes, and i understand most of vectors! wheee~ badminton was slack, all i did was serve and serve and serve somemore and pick up shuttles. haha i turned up late anw after i saw ms chua. mr foo went easy on me since ive not been feeling well the past few days and my ankle felt out of sorts.

amin pissed me off big time today. he has a big mouth, a crude one but you should never ever insult someone's religion. no matter what has happened or has not, you dont have the right to insult anyone's beliefs. if you cant even respect that, you dont deem any respect as any sort of a living thing, not to mention a human being. if he thinks its a joke, THINK AGAIN. it wasnt funny and it didnt sound like a joke at all if you keep hammering at it. im utterly disgusted.

after practice went to find pierre, saw raymond and some of the CASTOR8 people as well. apparently theres SOME scandal uh? :D hahaha. pierre was nice enough to buy me 100PLUS. okay, i owe you one there. lol.

okay i know i should try to be nicer to people who dont understand, but its so damn bloody hard. if only.. if only!

and i really shd try my best NOT to dao people, even accidentally. problem is i dont notice my surroundings much, my mind's often in a world of its own, so i always seem aloof or even hostile. blah.

my schedules too tight for my liking. the tension on the chords too taunt, it may just snap anytime now.

wheeeee~ the show High School Musical is so. damn. nice!!! im gnna buy the vcd man. i just watch it on youtube. a bit blurry, but i got the show just fine :D michelle is really really happy. just hope that tmw i wont die during my lessons haha :P

such a wonderful show.
oh gosh. i love youtube :)

its been a jammed pack weekend.
econs is holy horror i assure you. ms sue is so intent on the class making the grades that we are supposed to hand up 3 essay questions over the weekend, and prepare another 2 - 3 for tutorial. nuts. as for lit, i read thru the tutorial but i cant really answer them cos i havent finished reading the book. its boring, but the story is coming into pieces now. MC test tmw and i havent even read thru the notes even once. and not to mention i was sleeping during that lecture. and history essay, what can i say? its WEEKS and WEEKS over dued. i keep saying i'd do it, but its not happening. hell.

worship was okay today, 7 intense songs which resulted into me croakin a little after it. i cant seem to really pay attention during messages. okay i got the gist of it, but most times my mind was drifting away some where else. or falling asleep.

i seriously have no bloody time to complete my tutorials. although i look forward to the weekends, that being that its the end of the long long week and i can go to church, it also means that i have to squash in some work somewhere despite obviously not having the time to do so. sighs-

i was talking to xiwen bout this and we figured that yeah we have to cut down on going out (okay, especially me) and yeah, we're picking a day to study. amazing isnt it. michelle is actually tryin to study for more than half an hour. sheesh.

oh, the highlight of the weekend was the teevee shows. they make me HAPPY. especially High School Musical. nevermind that i couldnt watch the whole thing, but it was really entertaining and sweet. and you know im a sap for singing, good singing. plus the leads were not bad looking to say the least. PLUS it was a sort of romance. happily ever ever endings makes me very happy indeed. i am gnna buy the vcd, or something. i have to complete watching that show..

and i know why i am single. why i have to be single as of now. that is cos i have NO TIME to devote on any particular person! if i had a relationship now, it'd be neglected i can tell you. okay maybe it quite depends on the the guy. i havent met anyone yet who can really capture my attention for long. hahaha and besides, i want to do decently for my promos. my schedule now is crazy, painful, and a headache. throwing in a relationship will only worsen the (im)balance. haha but that doesnt mean i cant look :D

nat is the only person who knows me since i was born. its nice to have someone who can really read you, never mind that personalities wise, we are as different as day and night.

gosh, i love my youth! :)

michelle is NOT a happy girl. the teacherparents meeting resulted in a gradually blackening face.

comments:
on report slip - im 'assidous' -> diligent; a tad of an exxageration, but i do try to hand up my work eventually.
by maths teacher - i do decent maths but once in a while i chit chat
by gp teacher - i dont talk much, but i do my own thing and i fiddle about with my phone. my phone is a very sore talking and disputing point in my family. thanks a lot lah mr chiang.
by hist teacher - i am distracted, not focused, can give satisfactory answers when asked, but am complacent just cos i passed both my CAs. like whatthehell lah! the only reason why she said that was cos i asked her on thurs how was the hist paper graded, i dont understand how i can get 5/25 for a question okay. she said smth like my answerin technique, so i was like but usually i pass what. then she told me to look at the bandings. zzz. that was translated to complacent AND i still dno whats up, whats wrong with my results. bah.
by econs teacher - i do hand in my work and everythin cept that my class participation needs improvement. hello? i beg to differ. sometimes i am the only one who throws up something just cos the rest of the class dont say anything -.- grrr.
by lit teacher - in general the class is quiet. hmmm? this is quite odd.

at least they didnt say i was stupid lah. i'd have killed them. thats the worst insult they could have made to me. but w/e, every year they say things like "michelle has potential to do very well but needs to work on her focus or discipline" or smth like that. my reports are not concurring in terms of my behaviour.

okay, point proven again that i should not game as i have been lately. sighs- but bloody hell, i have a life to live besides books. okay point taken. i shall not go out 5 times a week. i dont have to rush home to study, but sleeping and getting my rest is a more illustrious thing to do then killing your energy off by conquering the malls.

and dont bloody hell call me a mugger. thats an insult to me. its like indirectly calling me stupid. okay, i may call you a mugger but thats different. i respect you for being able to study hard, cos i dont have the perservance nor the patience to sit down for long. i set different standards for myself and the rest lah, cos i know im not capable in 'being focused'. sighs- thats a major weakness for me.

okay i gotta reexamine my time and my priorities. currently it reads sorta like this:
1) God
2) Sleep
3) Going Out
4) TV
5) Gaming and Studies are a tie

i hate being any thing less than capable. oh btw, do you know that our class 06A201 is considered quite 'weak'? :S

dont cross my path today, im in a rather volatile mood.

maybe you're not worth my time;

lately ive been into headbanging sort of pop. good to bop your head to, and to pour your soul out. gaming is yet another escape.

left school early today, right after PE. got a green form, said i wasn feelin too well. okay that was not a lie but i know i could have sustained thru GP and maths tutorial if i really wanted to. but i was kinda hangin on the edge, i just wanted to come back home cos i need a break, i need rest and i need to be refreshed before i can dive headfirst into my many piles of work (loads of overdued!) as well as church duties this weekend. and i know coming home early today would do me some good, instead of stayin thru school and running out to malls with friends after that. i can hardly say no to entertain and fun can i? lol.. i cant help but feel that i drag my feet from class to class, with my brain shut off and my eyes barely open. and when the last bell rings, i would spring out of my seat, out of class. anw, the weekend's gnna be a hectic one with parent-teacher meeting, main worship prac as well as youth on sat and church itself on sunday. i need my due rest.

how wonderful it would be if i could get TWO full days off with no appointments, classes, or duties. a clear break and i can assure you i'd be at roarin speed, on the balls of my feet once im back.

ive set up maths consultation with ms chua for vectors on monday since i missd the lectures and tutorial. maths is one subject that i can do well if i bother, unlike econs sighs. i need econs tuition. i cannot afford to get 35% again for promos. zzzz.
and, i have to stop gaming. i shall limit myself to 2 hours a day, max.

badminton, i have to say, is one of the least in my priorities. you gotta know where you're going, and i know im no ronald susilo. im a lazy bugger on the court and im better off the academic route, tho i have a strong distaste for it. at the end of the day, i want a decent paying interesting job and a comfortable lifestyle that i am used to.

' Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But I gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away
Breakaway '

today, academia wise, school was of not much importance.
however, today marks a new record. i got caught by TWO teachers (three times in total) for falling asleep. the phrase used, i believe, was "do you want to go wash your face?" oh well, at least i didnt get sent out of the class. ms loh was particularly nice lah, she was like "eh ive been noticing that youve been distracted lately, are things okay?" and all. SO NICE LUH. i really must try to listen in history. sighs` anyway even if i slept in class last time, i never ever get caught :x

miss lai tried to frighten us with statistics. and im afraid i dont even haf time to even complete my tutorials, much less 4 hours of additional revision time. craaazy. and for goodness sake's lah! my weekends are jammed pack. i practically live in church itself lol :)

okay, but i admit i can do away with some bad habits/addiction:
1) to teevee (chinese dramas, singapore idol, english dramas like desperate housewives and the ghost whisperer as well as videos from youtube)
2) to internet (ever since i got my own laptop sighs)
3) to gaming (i gamed till nearly 3 yesterday :x)
4) and my ever favourite- sleeping. you can do it for HOURS straight :)

i really must stop 'referring' to other people's assignment. shit luhh.
anw i had a conference call with joce and joy! i miss my lovelies so very very much. joce's ever the same and so's joy. we all own to the same fault, being super busy. anw we're gnna meet up really soon either next friday or sat (its been postphoned for ages!) and have a sleepover over the national holidays. wheeee~

some times i cant help but feel lost in school.

a final note: YAY JOAKIM GOMEZ MADE IT THRU TO THE TOP TEN :D hes cute. but i felt that gayle nerva shouldnt have been kicked out. for starters, emilee kang's not too popular and jasmine tye butchered her song. okay, her style on that song just sounded all so wrong. they deserved to get kicked out far more. paul twohill may have messed the song up, but his popularity's keeping him in. i dont like the way rahimah rahim emotes her songs. and theres no need to mention jonathan leong. he did a decent performance abeit the jerky out of place movements. :)

how much can you see beyond that demeanor?

i cant seem to be on track of my work. im always lagging behind, copying (or as zukai says, referring) to other peoples assignments. zzz.

anyhow i ponned the security talk thing. met pierre dennis and mak on the way out so we zaoed together. apparently some of the councillors stopped some people from leaving the school compound and all. anw we chionged out of school before the councillors could come again. hahaa. attendance wasnt taken for the 2 hours security talk anw. :)

my bag feels like it has lead in it.
so. damn. heavy.

i shall do some work tonight. i really shall.
i have to :(

oh and guess what, my parents want to see chiang. dies. please dont tell them that im usually listening in class with one ear with ear phones! :x

was sleeping through chinese, econs. wanted to do so during PW, but those two jokers (dennis and pierre) plonked themselves beside me and i had to stay awake. you never know what they are up to sometimes. btw, street soccer shoes look DAMN cool in the shops, but sadly on the feet, they look quite different and rather stupid i might say. haha the stud ones are better lah, but i cant imagine all those guys trotting around schools stamping holes into the ground with those studded boots :x

anw listening compre isnt significant enough to talk about aside from my contacts itching like hell. was hanging about school with my class people when dennis and mak scared the hell out of me. i was absorbed, talking to my classmates when they crept up on me and yelled BOO so damn loud into my ear. as usual, pierre and a few of those VS boys would stand behind and laugh. zzz.

went with xiwen amin zukai sally hannah to tampines. we met Christine, sally and zukai's secondary school friend. shes pretty nice and definitely not as insane as zukai is. but hes toned down over the months tho thank God! xiwen and amin went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean by themselves since no one wanted to watch. haha scandalous uh. -shrugs. its a super long movie, and i heard from friends it wasnt too great. anw the rest of us were chomping at Lohn John's when another friend of sally and zukai's came to join us; shuuji. i can see why zukai is as.. weird as he is haha! btw sally and zukai are NOT together lah, tho i keep saying sallyandzukai, zukaiandsally. but nothings going on really. had quite a laugh there and ate some.

today was uneventful except for some interesting things i heard from friends. now wouldnt that you want to know? haha!

some weird questionnaire i ripped off somewhere; im bored.
The Right One
1) hair? dark brown preferably. chocolate brown is down right yummy! and no center partings thanks
2) height? definitely has to be taller for sure. 178 - 182 is a nice height :) im tall, see
3) built? lean. with some muscles and nice abs. but nothing like that overbloated Hi5 guy Nathan Foley please
4) glasses? i think contacts are cool, but if you can carry specs off, why not?
5) piercings? er. most probably he'd look gay :x
6) skin color? medium-tan. nothing like the colour of mud nor the colour of paper
7) brain? intelligent, capable, quick witted but not 'brainy' like who sprouts statistics every other line
8) a partier? im not that keen on social shindigs nor frequent clubbing
9) extroverted or introverted? a bit of both. i cant stand guys who talk a whole lot. i think open and friendly, but not overly eager is fine.
10) smokes? hell NO
11) drugs? *smirks* what do you think? i dont care much for druggies with messed up lifes as nice as they may be
12) swear? on the right occasion. not every other sentence; thats a real extreme.
13) pay for dates? he should offer, but i wont take up his offer 90% of the time. i can pay my way, its the thought which counts
14) flowers? i like. but not dark red roses. too cliched. nor do i like overly obnoxiously large bouquets which complete blocks me out of sight. i just like happy looking flowers :)
15) chocolate? heck yes. but please pick a decent brand and only brown milk chocolates.
16) music? id love it if he can play an instrument. like the bass, guitar or drums. i think the drums for guys are wayy too cool. hahaha! but at least must be able to appreciate good music. english music *clarifies*
17) social life? must have his own set of friends, cos i have mine but must be able to mix well with my friends as well.
18) sports? yes! badminton soccer basketball track whatever. anything! a sport is a sport.
19) sings? that d be a fantastic bonus but its ok if he cant, as long as he doesnt try to sing too much if he sounds worse than finger nails screeching on the board!
20) age? at least a year older. eitherwise must be matured beyond his current age.
21) cooks? HAHA way cool okay! since im not too keen on that, that would be fantastic.
22) hangs out with a lot of other girls? some is okay, i wont particular care since friends are friends but if he hangs around too many girls, there is probably a reason why. and it probably reeks of 'flirt'.
23) one or more girls at a time? *crooked grin* he can jolly well watch out if his hands are busy with more than one. he'd be out of the door faster than you can say good riddance to bad trash.
24) drinks? once in a while is fine, but BRING ME ALONG PLEASE :D no drunks
25) dressing style? for guys its kinda easy isnt it. jeans and teeshirts are fine. nothing that reeks of chinese boyband. the rest is up to whether the guy looks good in them ;)
26) financial background? middle income and above i guess. not that im shallow or elitist, but if you 're downright poor you cant afford to have a girlfriend at all seriously. earn more, then get one.
27) privacy? yeah i want mine. if i dont want you to butt in, dont butt in and make a fool out of yourself. i'd tell almost everything anyway.
28) hair style? a little messy, spiky is cool. not the entire head of a porcupine nor a floppy hair style tho.

ill stop here.
many loves to my darlings. :)

"i dont want just another pretty face"

i just got to pen down a couple of thank yous to my beloved class 06A201 and a few selected others before i collapse onto the bed.

my dear 06A201 i have this much to say: i love you guys so veryveryvery much. haha nevermind that i tell you that you're a pain in the ass or you're a sore sight to behold. and thank you so much for encompassing my many faults; my moods, my demands, my craziness, everything.

i always sort of 'bully' ken and darren lah, they are only too nice to accomodate me and always helping me buy drinks or whatever cos im too lazy to walk there myself. and really, darren's no 'full of shit'. he's a damn nice guy who will send you all the way to your doorstep. and kenichi lets people draw on his arm just to amuse ourselves! so damn sweet lah. i cant help but feel damnnnn guilty. cos i havent been the nicest person ever, with the onslaught of activities in sch, church as well as disappointing grades and some notsonice events that i wont specify. and sabrina ng, oh gosh i love her oh so much lah! we're always jabbering about our list of qualities in the type of guys we want and shes forever fixing her Top 10 list up! same for sally kwong and hannah sim. kwong is this girl who lets me steal her sweets all the time, anytime anyday and hannah's my constant whineing partner during history. "you finishing your essay? its due tmw" "noooooo!" "okay! me too! hand it up late then" ;) hahaha. and kakwai. that blur thing, hes dammmn funny lah. and he helps me lug my things around, like my birthday presents, as did darren. awww. and zukai. though hes damn damn gay, i still love him all the same. he does the most embarrasing things, but you know that zukai really cares for the class lah :) serena's the CG chair and she puts in soo much effort in the class. come'on she even forwards a list of hw to complete to 19 of us every weekend! :) and theres always xiwen, of whom i tell just about everything to. shes so damn bloody sweet, goes out of her way to accomodate everyone, i wonder how shes does it. and then theres amin. hes bloody annoying and i always feel like killing him, but i know underneath it all hes quite a decent guy. diyanah's always there if you need anything shes so conscientious. and don be so stressed out kay! and for adora, you know she'd be there for you if you need anything. and FISHBALL shinyu! teehee shes so darn cute and i dont need to go on how glad i am to have her as a friend lah. in fact, she can do your chinese hw for you :D chainey's is crazy girl who talks and talks and talks but is so hilarious! we definitely get on fine, shes like a walking jingle machine heh. and reisha, shes this person who looks like a bitchy whatnot, but shes really nice and sweet and you know you've got a friend in her. annabel, haha we're always trying to make her eat but shes the right person to go to if you want to get Perkcafe ice cream heh. and maths as well ^^ melanie kang, how could i forget her. my ex chem lab partner in sec 3 who eats and eats. i love mel kang, despite her squealing! haha but really, shes someone you can trust your secrets too. jiayi the mushu, shes really pretty okay and she ditched us for Shes the Man and made up for it with chocolate teehee. i love mushu. remember the "hey whats the time" pick up line? *grins* i love my class so damn much okay. love love love love.

:)

and theres still pierre, jasmine and dennis lah. i know i can tell them anything, whenever.

and nicoletanwanpin. its soul mates! its instant connection man.
and i love my joyful and joce veryvery much as well. i miss them soo much.
and the same for that aunty chuawanyun and some of the 4E6 people
and the ROLC Youth. gosh, its been too cool jamming, rooming, camping, everything. heres to many many years more!
AND the melbourne trip people esp my roomies: manel, huiying, yvette. love to you all.

i thank God for all the wonderful friends he's given me.
its more or less the only things that keep me sane..

i hope i didnt miss anyone out, but if i did, you should know you're remembered all the same :)

chinese oral was plain weird. my third question was on bird shit. "do you know what was in the bird shit?" zOMG. i nearly fainted okay.

and i got an E for LIT. thanks to my poems 9/25. zzz my poems cannot make it lah, i cant understand them at all. free essays are by far much much easier. im quite disappointed honestly.

okay that means i passed most of my h2 subjs, the exception being Econs.
i dont have to see Chiang either. :)

anyway (some) pimples are bothering me. good thing my fringe covers most of it. stress lah, everytime before i get back my results slip. more stressed than taking the paper haha.

and im a fecking cow when it comes to grades. regardless of how much or how little i studied, i expect fantastic grades. im a snob when it comes to results lah. thats one of my bad points, so forgive me for that. anw i have to admit i don deserve my results, as displeased i am with it. i havent worked as hard as my schoolmates for sure and im always copyin other peoples notes. :X

i have to break this habit. I REALLY HAVE TO.

aokay. goals for PROMOS. lets see if i make it, they are pretty much attainable anw.
Maths - A
Lit - C/B (i'd put higher if not for poem analysis!)
Econs - C
Hist - C
GP - high B
Chinese - B

it seems like a never ending rat race.
you were young, and it was all so exciting. new, fresh and vibrant, and you actually enjoyed it. then a slip of paper tells you how your 'moments of fun' were valued. and it all went downhill from there. at certain moments i admit i enjoy the competition, because i have this belief that if i try i can make it, and so far i have. but it can turn ohsotiresome, and the competition can get so ugly. and really, what is the point of it all? it is at least another 6 years before i graduate. that is if im just completing a basic degree. if i want to do honours or masters or whatsoever, its another few more years to go. its been a long 17 years, and it was since the beginning of 17 years i was taught and groomed to be faster, quicker. nothing but the best was expected out of me. drawing, abacus, swimming, biking, piano, vocal, badminton, accelerated maths, memory courses, you name it, i have been through it.

and now as i flip thru my small notebook; my memory has ceased to work for the countless deadlines; i realise that day by day i am rushing thru piece after piece. and there are 365 days a year. and sometimes, i really despair. ive learnt to handle it i guess, what ive not the time to do, is chucked out of my to do list. nevermind that i feel guilty about it. you cant do everything after all. its come to a point that i can safely say that i do not enjoy a bit of my work at all. work is work, as simple as that. its something i have to do, to get through the rest of my days without too much trouble hounding at my back.

i place my happiness over my studies, and that justifies my stand towards school. its not of utmost importance. nevermind the bloody rat race, ive dropped out. but just sometimes you cant help but wish that you were still a competitor. its quite a ride, a thrill. and i have to say that being brought up like this, with the likes of my cousins of whom i have the utmost respect for, and are the creme of the crop of the singaporean society, i cant help but feel that (in certain arenas) if i dont lead the pack, i am nothing. but as for now, i just try to survive by the edge.

and yes, i am a sort of a perfectionist. being good is not good enough for me.
its more than you can truly understand unless you're in the same position as i am in right now.

on a side note, i dislike nicknames, or affectionate sort of name calling from people i am not particularly close with.

church was good today, just that i got told off by dad for not being the perfect role model as i should be, being one of the oldest and holding a leadership position of a worship leader, and the other roles i take on. but gosh, i love my youth ohsomuch. :)

today i basically ate slept watched teevee and went to church. and i did some bloghopping. this time's to Singapore Idol's Joakim Gomez. mannn, nothing gives me a kick like a good blog read with an excellent command of english. its an Arts student kinda kick heh. hahaha, i really like the way he writes lah, you can immediately connect with it.

anyway i have to make my self promise not to eat SO MUCH. i just don want my trainings all for naught lah! hahaha ;) in sch on friday, it was dno how many scoops of icecream, since i had to go to the phobos ice cream party. today, saturday, it was lots of chips while listening thru this christian cd written by singaporean christian composers called Revival. its pretty cool i think, and im gnna do the song Alpha and Omega for my next worship :) i got sam to figure out the tabs for me, so i can get joan to learn the electric guitar solo before my next worship practice! and today, the youth pastor is finally in the house! its too cool. i cant wait to see the greater things that gnna come. i really hope the youth can grow. like x10 lol

xw in his scout uniform today was hilarious btw ;)

gosh ive a whole lot of work to do! :( term threes getting busier and busier. i hope theres no training on monday after chinese A lvl oral. im still sore all over the last one. haha yes, so lousy i know :x and God, please oh please, let the chinese flow out of my mouth like water held in a hand. haha! and tmw i diedie must complete that history essay thats been on my homework list for weeks! sighs-

youtube-ing away now. do i love videos or what :)

gack. today was pretty crappy. woke up all sore all over didnt want to come to school. but anw i successful slept thru maths, thanks darren for letting me copy your notes :X PE was rubbish as usual and so was GP. maths tutorial didnt do anything that i didnt know. in short, today was a waste of my time. anyhow we went to that thai restaurant again for lunch. its a complete rip off, the prices. i ordered thai tang hoon and GEEZ the portion and ingredients were worth only like 2 bucks. the price however was 3.5 times its value. -.- ate with xiwen kakwai sabrina sally hannah!

went to the phobos house party to give zukai some face. intended to leave really early but ended up hanging around playin cards! i won 3 rounds, xiwen 1, sally 1. man. i love taitee. and i ate like 5 scoops of ice cream la, shit.

hung around after the house party with jasmine mak mak&jasmine'sclassmatejunyu and pierre after that. they were doing up the floorball board.

in some a sense i pity the councillors. council politics is screwed up and everyone is expected to conform, despite having very different personalities. due to the vocalism of selected councillors, some are being seen as 'troublemakers'. i dont see any wrong in voicing out opinions, after all, you have to be open to suggestions to make any sort of improvements! of the councillors, im sure they (mostly) enjoy their council work but yet i feel they are not bonded at all. there are so many conflicts within. personalities, issues, difference in opinions. and i reckon its time to be more open to suggestions even to their own behaviours in order to improve. accept feed back and to work on it to produce improvements, in particular the exco. and the exco has to set the example, be the lead by doing just that. the light doesnt seem to be shining too brightly on them. now, only if they can be as united as 06A201. gosh i love my class! :)

oh and please oh please. can you get someone who can recite the National Pledge decently? its quite embarrasing for a councillor not to know the pledge well enough to glitch it up on 3 occasions right? send him back in only once he's learnt it.

that aside, i do know some of them and those that i personally know are nice. haha xiwen jasminetan mei and kimbo are my particular favourites, but that doesnt mean i dislike the rest either :)

' buildings with a hundred floors
swinging with revolving doors
maybe i dont know where they'll take me
gotta keep movin on movin on
fly away break away '

its a feeling of uncertainty.

did i mention that Singapore Idol guy joakim looks uncannily like someone i know? :S haha not neccessarily too good a thing but w/e.

and maybe ive been holding on too long, you cant really get burnt, but you cant help but wonder if you're wasting your time here.. and everyone knows how time is valued. its like a malfunctioning waterheating system, swinging madly from hot to cold. and maybe, just maybe, it was just all a farce. after all, you'd never know.

i know i say id hit the sack right away after dinner, but i had some things to think about and places to go. its not a matter of choice.

okay. history. my hopes crashed down again. U before moderation. who knows whats it after. looks like my attempt on the method of 'cheat studying' for the entire history syllabus in approximately two hours has failed.

lit. according to rehana, it wasnt really done well. well, i cannot afford to fail Lit. no way. firstly its Lit. who fails LIT? ok, at least not me. and secondly, i dont want THREE Us. its a disgusting sight. to have even ONE U is a huge disappointment. that little slip of paper in the drawer is a constant reminder, a never ending pressure of how well i should be doing.

was tired thru and thru today, so i didnt do my usual afterschool romp around malls thing. i hung around school waiting for badminton to start. badminton training was ... shoddy. i havent touched the shuttle in two months, and it shows only too clearly. i cant even easily receive drives. :S and for once, i was losing to zukai. i never ever come near losing or draw with zukai. no offence lah zk :X ok, i bucked up a bit somewhere, but i was too lethargic to really run for the shots. plus i wasnt wearing my contacts but my specs. my eyes had some damn problem in the middle of the school day. zzz. haha and well not as if my fellow badminton mates know my laziness on court :X pierre was an idiot lah. keep showing off how 'pro' he was. anyway TOOTHPICK, please update your blog.

anyway HUIYI; HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY!!! loads of love yeaah? haha. im wishin you one day in advance :) jiayou for the damned O's teehee.

' Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway '

and the treadmill starts moving.

' All the, small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take, one lift
Your ride, best trip '

cant put my shoes on,
out of time.

Singapore Idol, my personal favourite is Joaquim (however you spell the name). he may not have the strongest vocals, but hes EXTREMELY likeable. haha. and he has a damn cool style of dancing! rahimah rahim's style of singing is a annoying. the way she pronounced "perhaps" made me cringe each time. paul twohill did a decent rendition as well. as did jonathan. the rest were not so memorable.

what a lousy day.
apparently 95% of the cohort failed econs. :X needless to say, i was one of them, despite hoping ohsohard that i scrapped a subpass or something. i got about a 35% i would say. okay, so thats 2nd in the class but SO WHAT. im not out to beat the class, im out to do as well as i should be doing.

speaking of results,
actual grades vs (expected) grades
maths C vs (A)
gp C vs (A)
chinese D vs (B)
econs U vs (E)
history (E)
lit (B)

so far, EVERYTHING has been a few grades off. zzz. im just hoping, praying that econs is my only U. gosh. history h1 is the WORST h1 subject ever. i shant go on about hist. we all know why :X i want at least ONE b okay, at this rate. and it HAS to come from lit. im getting grouchier and grouchier.

that being said. i wish i could study better, harder. i fear studying. i fear not being able to learn fast enough, i fear that even if i mug so hard, i may just screw up. above all else, i dont want to be stupid. and thats why i can never ever mug.

plus that fact that the slip of paper in my drawer reminds me only too regularly of how well i should be doing, is a pain in the neck.

interview with the childcare workers was ok. i had to try my best to be nice despite being grumpy over econs.

okay thats it. im not hanging round here anyway. im off to sleep.
just my favourite escape.

haha some people think im fierce. actually im not really lah, just depending on the situation and i also cant help the fact that my face reeks of dao and hostile all over if im not grinning like a cheshire cat, of which i just look the slightest of insane. and probably in class now, im a bit more garang (is that the term?) than i usually am. thats because of *some* people lah. i just have to clamp down their incessantly moving mouths. not that they have anything nice to say anyway. okay, not they. just one person? haha. i believe whatever it is, im a bona fide girl. i look like one okay, dont bother about what people like pierre and dennis may say. haha. and in a relationship, i can be sickenedly high and dammmmn... girl? hahaha. and foremostly.. I LOVE SHOPPING! wheeee~

i shall try to be nicer and less "garang".
doesnt mean that i can be pushed over tho.

that aside, today was an incredibly long day. i fell asleep last night at 8 plus on my bed after attempting to read Heart of Darkness, my lit text, till this morning. okay it intended to be a 15 minute nap cos i have a whole load of work waiting for me. it lasted till this morning. zzzz. thus started my hectic day. i attempted to read half the book on my way to school in dad's car eitherwise i may get kicked out of lit tutorial as mr wee has kindly threatened all of us the lecture before. during lit, i was 'attempting' my history tutorial outline for the next period. nevermind that i only wrote like.. 7 lines. an attempt is an attempt. teehee. then during break, i was attempting to complete chinese hw since it was due yesterday when chinese class ended. okay i ponned chinese yesterday since laoshi wasnt around. it was taking too long and i got kakwai to bracket up the compre answers for me in the end. haha kakwai's so nice luh! maths and econs were crazy copying lectures i was in a grouchy mood by the time lectures ended. the amount of work i was rushing today was crazy. and intolerable. and after that i was rushing maths tutorial i did ONE question, okay, copied during PW. for maths tutorial 11 people were sent out of the class for not attempting their work or not bringing their worksheets. a fury of copying during maths again.

i am unbelievably stressed with the number of teachers chasing for work to hand up. the bloody amount of work has snowballed so much in ONE day. hell. i rushing my group for PW (ok, im trying, i have to, im the group leader zzz), i have TWO history tutorial outlines due this week and a full length history essay, maths tutorial, overdued chinese practice paper, econs essay, and that Lit book to worry about. i dont like being out of control. :x

okay in short, i want and need my sleep :(

btw i got a D for chinese, not too happy i s'pose. but heck at least i passed.
im still living in denial that the entire class flunked econs. i havent seen my paper, but nooooooooooo :( history, oh please, c'mon, a little lovin please? haha. lit should be okay luh. so far confirmed grades are as such

GP- C (was pretty pissed off, the compo part. i was like ONE mark from a B!)
Chinese- D *shrugs
Maths- C (not happy either, i was expecting at least a B. a tirade of silly mistakes that should not have been made)

and yes, i am still waiting.

today was pretty cool. I AM FINALLY SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD! wheeee~ but then again, it doesnt feel any different haha. whatever it is,

a whole lot of thankews to wish me;
to those who smsed: zukai mayes jas pierre denise mark mel drew mike christine shinyu reisha serena sally chris huiyi jw jl diyanah lincoln xiwen dennis shawn reyes sokyee
to those who msned me: yx manda huiying nat darren zk sabrina natalie wilfred

i hope i didnt miss anyone out, thankew for just remembering

the class gave me this Club Marc bag. heh. its seriously cool. its kinda weird lookin id say. but it fits a weird person like me. but i like it! :) thanks so much yeaaah. and for some reason, sally kept jabbing me, poking me, knocking me over? hmmmmmm?
sheena and weeyang gave me this humongous candy machine. its so damn cute luh! at first i thought the bigbig box held tupperwares or smth :X thank you so much heh!
pierre dennis and jas (in soul). durin PE, super funny they will yelling happy birthday and singing the song as they were running on the track. i had a stomachache while running cos i was laughin so hard! haha and thanks for celebrating my birthday for me. and the cake. teehee. :) :) poor pierre had to lug ALL my presents around while i tried to shop for presents for other friends. he looked like he wanted to die after the whole round. my gifts were all bulky and heavy luh.
mike you goof, thanks for that flower. black roses rox plx ^^ you know i love them.
reyes, I THOUGHT U GUYS WERE IN NEWYORK? haha apparently they rushed back for a week to celebrate for me. awwwwww. -hugs. oh and i miss you too shawn :)

my friends are so dammmn sweet luh. i love you guys and thank you so so so much!
anyway nicole tan wanpin, i just posted ANOTHER letter to you. :) i knw ure like damn excited right? haha. LOVE!

wheeee~ michelle feels so damned loved.

i got a whole ton of presents today,
thank yous to XW XP Nat JW JL Huiyi Denise AuntyChristabel Sam Parents Shawn Reyes Mike UncleWC Granddad!

auntychristabel's gift was WOW luhh. she knows ive a thing for earrings, so she got me another pair! hahaha she'll probably given me like 10 jewellery shop pairs of earrings! my total stock of earrings is about 30 pairs now, over two years. i only pierced my ears in late sec two heh :) anyway it was diamond earrings. real ones. teehee

xw xp nat baked me cookehs and gave me a nice card. the thought of the two boys baking makes me laugh! so funny luh, i never expected them to bake :) haha i didnt expect them to remember my birthday either.. the cookehs spelt out my name and the card was the usual xiaowen style: gay. ;) jl and jw contributed also. thanks a lot guys! :D the fact that they spent so much time on it makes me feel really touched luh. nevermind if the cookehs dont taste good :P okaay lah, i was joking, it was really GOOD. fits my sweet tooth.

huiyi and denise's gifts were yet again unexpected, they got jw jl to pass to me teehee. another pair of earrings (LOVE!) and bracelet and a couple of really sweet cards. thankew dearies for remembering!

sam got me stuff from Ig's Heaven: this cute doggy notepad and this orange splotch coaster. my fav is the WRAPPER! ig's heavens wrappers are really pretty, no kid there.

shawn reyes mike FEDex-ed me this funky cross necklace from newyork, earrings!, freshly baked chocolate truffles from some newyork hotel, a diamond bracelet, and a super long and sweet letter.. awwwwww. -hugs

some relatives gave me money. perhaps i could go shopping now. wheee~

PHOTOS: click here

and thats just the icing on the cake. more days of celebration to go.
but really,

thank you for just remembering :)

PEOPLE
person/s most frequently msged
uhhhh no idea, i msg lots of different people?? just to name a few; natasha, chris, reyes, shawn, pierre, xiwen, heck i dunno :x
person/s i currently miss the most
nicoletanwanpin cos shes in roo land! :(
person/s i last talked to online
dennis zhu and natasha
person/s i last had a meal with
parents, samuel, cousins and relatives at some jap restaurant
person i last kissed
uhhhhhhh. not telling you. does my parents count? ;)
person i wished never existed
a neighbour
person i last wrote a letter to
nicole tan and huiyi :)
person/s i think are cute
michael ballack (his floppy hair!), kyle, xiwen, reyes, chris
person/s i think are hot
channing tatum, shawn, mike
person/s who i think have nice abs
channing tatum, brandon routh, shawn, XP LOL ;), reyes
person/s who i think are gay
zukai, amin, my brother jonathan and xp (a threesome? :X)
person/s with nice legs
reyes, sheena , yvette
person/s with the most style
MANEL!! yvette. reyes. shawn.
person/s who i think are extremely dateable and single (i think)
sheena! reyes christine neekotan for the boys
my brother, xp, kenneth(?), mike for the girls

WHAT
i want
a true and lasting relationship (im unbearably picky, so its gnna be a long long time)
i like
chris nicole shawn reyes natasha 06A201 joce joy sheena pierre jasmine dennis, all my friends luh :)
i eat
chocolates and junkfood
i sleep
veryvery late. like 2- 3 am on school days :x
i aspire
to be more intelligent
i need
more sleep more eat more teevee more friends more love!
i love
you. riiiight.
i question
my sanity
i will
go to sleep now :S

GOODNIGHT :)

two over months for not having training has loosen my muscles :(
YUCKS its gnna get dammmn flabby at this rate, whatever figure i cut right now is going down the hill

I CANT WAIT FOR BADMINTON, nevermind that during it i complain like mad. heh.
do you know i can take 5100 photos on my camera now? :D the 1GB memory card rocks my socks.

you said you cared;

heh. i really like the natural colour of my hair.. i know this sounds incredible random, but do you know how many people dye their heads to get any shade of brown at all? :) nicoletan was irritated when even after she got a professional dye job, her hair was still darker than mine. ;) and lets not go into bright red okay, so ah beng :X my hair is a decent colour of medium brown, of which at certain angles, theres even some tinge of auburn. wheeee~

since my birthday is coming up on monday, my parents got me a 1GB memory card for my phone :D and dinner anywhere i want tonight! okay, and lets not talk about the presents given even earlier by them; N6280, Duocor Laptop, that fantastic Melbourne school trip, the Mango blouse i had been eyeing for some time. haha i killed so much money within the month of June lah :S

i have a whole lot of hw to complete this weekend, lets hope i dont sleep too much. its a bad habit. EOM drafts for PW are dued this week, as well as the much detested History assignment and tutorial outlines and essay. not forgetting maths assignment, econs essay, PW surveys and Lit books.

maybe ill go take a nap before i start my work. like right now, never mind that i woke up an hour or so ago.. haha! i am already yawning lah

michelle feels loved :)
ive a date with joce and joy on this coming FRIDAY; sorry zukai, i wont be going for your phobos house party or whatever it is. starts too late, 430pm?? zzzzz
if nicoletan was around, i'd have another date too.
i wont name my other appointments; ITS SUCH A FUN WEEK UP AHEAD! :D

we aint gnna live forever
look at all the things we could do;

started off the day tugging at my skirt the entire time, the bloody back is shorter than the front zzzz. but i was pretty happy that i was the start of the last day of school of the week.

im exhausted.

first period was maths, and they, surprisingly, released our maths exam papers to us. my heart sank when i saw the grades. i was quite a few marks off my estimated grade :\ i know this sounds like a cow since i managed to pull a C, the highest in the class tying with kakwai, but i was definitely not happy. okay, i am thankful to God that i at least got a C, He could have chucked me a F anytime :S but it was still far from what i felt i could have achieved.. maths is something i can understand. maybe some people will go "hey its decent; i got (some amount) less". but lets not go into comparison, after all we're all vastly different. i may be decent at maths, but i do have my weaknesses. like my warped personality haha

for gp, we got our compres back. 34.5/50, highest in the class, but i wasnt elated. a small sense of relief that i did not majorly screw up, but i felt a throb of pressure thud heavily into the knell of my heart. i dont like people placing some sorts of expectation upon me, especially now that i have proved that i didnt screw up.

mr chiang said something about the rest not possible to compete with me jokingly during gp. about the family i was brought up in, "the rest were brought into the world with a silver spoon, but her a gold one", a supposed fine specimen of elitism where their respective offsprings do relatively better than the rest. i guess it was a funny joke, but i never did like talking much about my upbringing.. (supposed) wealth dont do nuts. i never cared for money nor liked coming from the family that i came from i suppose. ha, and more pressure to perform as decently or even better again the next time round from family, friends, teachers.

i guess in some ways i do not really deserve those grades i got. i know i did not work nor study as hard as most of them out there, i was after all overseas for 2 and 1/2 weeks out of 3 weeks of no school, having a nice time. for that i do feel a tad guilty, but at the same time, i feel the disappointment of not performing to my potential and doing better. i also feel awful that i cannot seem to bring myself to sit down and really study or complete my homework. 15 minutes and im out of the chair. i am an extremely distracted student and i have a bad case of procrastination. my history assignment initially dued the first day of school term is still untouched.. and all i want to do is sleep.

thats all i do lately, try to sleep and escape.

now i fear the release of economics and history, easily my weaker subjects due to the nature of the subject. i am sure nearly everyone expects me to do decently, nevermind that everyone else doesnt make the cut. at the same time, i desperately hope that i will not be disappointed yet again.

i guess i am utterly grateful to God for his provision over me thus far, i couldnt have done this without Him for sure, especially since most days before those papers i was busy sleeping/resting instead of chionging chapters that i had not covered.

as for my friends, dont give up. theres a couple of months to go, you can catch up in time if you try :)

in the meantime, God, please ease up the pressure and expectations. its giving me a nasty headache.

i went to school without contacts today thanks to my infection. i din wear my specs either, i hate the feeling of it, keeps dropping off my nose ridge haha.

history assignments a BIG pain in the neck and in the ass. its due tmw, and i just took out 3 books from the school library. having to lug them around TM and school is no fun at all! not to mention, since its due tmw, its highly not likely i can read all three thick fat books by today either. i shall hand up my assignment next week then. haha, it was initially dued on the 26th June. well.. look at the date now :S bloody migraine anyway.

went to TM today, 12 of us roamed about after a very late lunch at pastamania's. haha i saw this really nice converse germany pencil case! im gnna buy it next wed (i think), if i have extra cash after my shopping spree then. :D we got a couple of stuff today tho, so all's good.

im really too tired nowadays, shall not watch replays of soccer matches and cartoons and movies till 3 am no more :(

we aint gnna live forever;

grab hold catch hold
run run the thrill of
life, take a pill and jump
off the cliff, take that risk,
try.

i want to spread my wings and fly
past and beyond those spitles and thorns
high high, distance away
two times five.

some one said he wanted a shot at it,
a chance.

somehow things are crumbling out of place, and i wonder, why i was illogical enough to see the possibilities. it is more of the impossible now than anything else. its so hard and out of reach. you stretch and you think, maybe putting a bit more effort would make you go further, and then you cramp up, and realise that you may have just reached your max.

what now?

it is said that the world is getting smaller and smaller now, all thanks to technology. phone, plane, internet. but in issues such as this, near is never near enough, let alone somewhere half across the world.

stuck.

finally, LOVE to shawn. thanks for everything heh
and I MISS YOU NICOLETANWANPIN :(

the curtain goes down.

the school term started rather lousily

1) germany lost to italy 2-o in the extra time on the last 2 minutes -.-
this is the only german match i did not fully watch and they did this to me??
2) not used to school hours, fecking migraine despite sch ending by 2 today
3) plans to watch shes the man fell thru AGAIN
4) am feeling veryvery bloated, its taken on a new high
5) my eyeball is bloody infected
6) the freaking eye medicine got to my mouth, such a bitter taste that i CANT get rid off
7) i have a multitude of history assignments and tutorials to do by friday, am so dead

i dont wanna go to school tomorrow, i really dont.
blah

GERMANY vs ITALY this morning at 3 am;
looks like i wont be able to watch it 'live'

sighs- ill haf to watch it later on tmw as a rerun, or search for a video of it online. i cant believe i almost forgot bout it! :(

and of course, im supporting Germany :)
im placing my hopes on podolski, klose and ballack once again to deliver the goods.

please dont ruin the start of my new term with a loss :S

I LOVE YOU-TUBE :)
i rewatched she's the man so many damn times this afternoon heh. ill probably go to the cinemas to catch it again.. its hilarious. i was overjoyed to get my break thru after trying so many damned programmes, from limewire, to megaupload to clubbox. i am a happy girl.

i think im getting hooked on teevee, shit.

world cup finals is on my birthday 10th July, BUT i dont think i can watch it. damn school :( singapore should postphone all work, school and all till noon :) heck, make it a national holiday. celebrate soccer as the game as surpasses race, religion and beliefs.
-

we aint gnna live for forever;

im DESPERATE
i need to watch She's the Man, bad.

blah, its either everyone has watched that movie, or broke, or busy :(
tried video EZY, its not gnna come out for ages
tried downloading LIMEWIRE and trying to download it thru it, failed

i may have to watch it myself.
i cant afford to wait for anyone to be free to watch with me! blah. if only nicole tan was around you cow.

freak. its gnna go OUT of the theatres soon. WHY DIDNT I GO WITH REYES? or WITH SHAWN? :( :( :(

argh. its so damn frustrating. damn singaporeans and their schedules.

im devastated, i didnt get to catch Shes the Man. it was sold out at cine luhh :( :( looks like ill have to make a trip back very soon. blah

caught Superman in the end with kenneth, nat, junwen, junlin, xp and xw. it was better than expected. lots of action and a good touch was when Superman showed a vulnerable side, to krypton and louise lane, with her son jason, and richard (james marsden) had to save him, well sort of. brandon routh is decent looking to say the least and he has nice abs HAHA! :D james marsden is as usual, as cute as ever. im still not happy with Jean Grey for killing Cyclops.

we had lots of fun. kenneth did a lot of gay things as usual. not the zukai gay, but the stupid and funny gay. ;)

just some questions about the show
1) how come no one realises clark kent is superman? not even louise lane?
2) why doesnt clark kent tell louise lane anyway?
3) what happens to the cute james marsden now that louise lane's old flame is back in town
4) why cant superman's kid with louise, jason, fly?

i hope they make a part 2 with answers. it probably wouldnt be as action packed, but at least, its something for the fans. okay fine, im sort of a convert.

1) james marsden; richard 2) superman brandon routh 3) kate bosworth; louise lane

out later, wheeee~

SHES THE MAN.
even kenneth is going to watch luhh after his guitar class :)
-

with my crazy expectations of what the Right One should be, im as good as sending myself to the nunnery. yes, its THAT bad. heck, even sabrinanghuimin tells me she does not know a single person that fits in my criterias. its not that im picky... but i reckon that if i make any concessions on my part on those expectations, the relationship will go wrong sooner or later, because of those same concessions made earlier! okay, fine, so maybe im picky.

just that i dont want to make the wrong choice, again.
"if you dont give it a shot, youll never know" but mistakes are so tiring
and i know myself too well. im not going to give myself nor anyone false hopes either, when its so obvious its not happening

anticipation is an ugly taste in my mouth. and so's waiting;
it looks like its gnna be a really long wait.

God bless us all.

haha, some guy asked me

"what time is sunrise?"
"where is nice to watch sunrise?"
"you sure?"
"check where?"

i immediately zeroed in on the possibilities. surely that person wouldnt want to watch it alone right? HAHA :)

talkin bout She's the Man, pierre jas they all cant go. stupid pierre last minute tell me. now ive to watch with someone im not particularly keen with. but whatever, im watching the show regardless of company!

(5 minutes later) okay. nats gonna watch with me after all. hurrah. :D and omg, so are XW and XP. amazing luhhh. these two are not keen on movies at all. shocking. :o its gonna be quite fun. okay cineleisure here we go, at five pm.

NICOLE TAN I MISS YOU LUHH. wheres the reply to my letter anyway? hahaha love!

basket, most of my friends are in love/like/crush. or attached. eeeks. as happy i am for them, some times its hair raising. attached at the hips loll. im still getting used to it. be happy.

i overslept my alarm and didnt catch the brazil vs france match :( i was supposed to catch a nap for an hour or so, but i slept thru the stupid thing. oh well. shocking, it was even a draw but a goal to france. 1-0. i awoke in the morning to see a truckload of sms-es, majority of them on the soccer matches;

some relevent bits of the smses on soccer
chris- "france won against brazil! :D am so happy"
shawn- "thierry henry is a f***ing genius! GOAL TO FRANCE with assist by zidane! next week's lunch on me, dove. hell, if france scores again ill buy all of us lunch AND dinner" LOL i dont blame his enthusiasm, he has some french blood in him after all ;)
renee- "mike's half drowning me ears out wif his shouting. we think crouch is a nothing but a useless bugger and mike reckons he can play better for england, by least he wont practically deliver the ball to portugal. gerrard looks a tad like owen but owen's cuter =D" "oh waitt, cristiano is EVEN cuter" and later "zidane is pretty brill. hes not as old as they make him out to be, sort of like ronaldino old" hmmmmm?? :O lol!
mike- "blasted rooney" "bloody crouch gives it away" "and again.." "and again.. but hargeaves is doing a fine job" "oh bloody... &$*%@#!" "crouch throws us britons' prides away" "penalties= say your fond farewell to england :("
and save the best for last: laine- "what's world cup" zOMGGGGGGGGGGGG! i wonder what world is she living on? superman's galaxy?

lol. that aside ive been reading world cup blogs, both by commentators and by the players them selves. they write pretty decent english and michael owen's is a really nice boy; you can tell from his writings. the blogs, especially the world cup commentators ones, are pretty quick to be updated. they watch and update it at the same time so you get the information jus as it is being played. but nothing beats watching the real thing of course.

i fell asleep part way during service today. :S most of us who were up last night were asleep; kenneth as usual leads the pack. the first to hit the sacks and obviously so with his head hung sidewards back with his mouth slightly apart haha!

i woke at noon today; ate and slacked off the entire afternoon
blogging and watching lots of She's The Man movie trailers. it only makes me more determined to watch it. amanda bynes is ridiculously hilarious and channing tatum is really cute. hurhur. and she finally doesnt look anorexic :)

went for dinner; samuel, natasha, jw, jl, xp, xw, darren, and youth Fire Conference at indoor stadium right after with them. it was pretty hilarious lah, the really lame jokes thrown around, and the stupid things some of us do sometimes.. hahahaa. the speaker was decent and the worship was not bad just that i wasnt familiar with the songs. and finally i wore that mango skirt out lol! :D

all who went to the conference came back in time to my house to catch England vs Portugal; portugal wins on penalties 3-1
we ate A LOT; bags of chips, cornflakes, kuehs and not to mention KFC :D

the match only proves a couple of things-
1) england needs a cool headed striker (ie, not rooney despite reputed skills)
2) crouch is absolute rubbish. when he substituted in i was hoping that the media criticism of him was false. however, it came to a point when whenever i saw crouch touch the ball, my heart sank for england. england doesnt need a guy who can only do the robo-dance; hes far better off working in a dance club
3) england cant do penalty kicks; even players such as gerrard :( disappointing
4) cristiano ronaldo looks really cute despite sweating buckets on the field, can manoeuver the ball niftly, and can deliver the goal (penalty)
5) england has decent players despite reports, its just crouch that kills everything else. any ball thats sent to crouch is a confirmed heaven-sent right to the opposite team. with ten players on the field after rooney got redcarded, with crouch substituted in, england was in a bad shape. it was like having 9 players against 11. heck, crouch was so bad he's not a zero. he's a minus.

rooney got redcarded, not for accidentally stepping on a portugal player, but shoving his fellow manchester united teammate cristiano ronaldo to back off. stupid hot tempered boy. he may have skills, but his hot temperness will get him kicked off the field. michael owen is a by fair better striker.

owen hargeaves, a relative unknown for the english team, was fairly impressive. his fitness is something to be spoken about; the way he runs up and down the field is nothing short of amazing. he made quite a few good attempts at the goal and some assists, which some were bungled up by crouch. gerrard made a nice pass right in front of the goal and crouch bungled it up again. the portugese players were not particularly outstanding, neither in a good way nor bad, except for ronaldo.

beckham incurred an injury. he looked like he was balding on teevee, when his hair was plasted to his head with all the sweat.
aside from that, cristiano ronaldo has nice cheekbones. heck, most of them seem to have that.

penalty shoot offs, 3-1 to portugal with cristiano ronaldo making the crucial final goal. well byebye to england. i dont particularly care for either.

FINAL ANNOUNCEMENT; edit to previous blog entry, mei's blog entry is dated JUNE 28th, not may 28th. my bad, and profuse apologies :P

whhhyyyy? :(
i was the first to know, and by now everyone knows already since you guys were soo indiscreet! but only i am expected to keep my mouth shut bout it. hmrrhm.

stupid pierre.

anyway check out mei's blog dated 28th may on the same issue. haha ;)
i love you both! LOL :D

GERMANY WON! 4-2 on penalties.
wheee~ so bloody happy. and the moment i got online, my german friend messaged me and goes on about it. hurhur.

1st half- germany played defensive, nothing like previous games. argentina had ball possesion and i wanted to cry lah

2nd half- germany started defensive and 49th minute, argentina scored. :( from there on, things got exciting. germany quited defensive and attacked, pushing the ball up front. but really they missed quite a lot of chances! ballack seemed quite injured tho, out of shape. argentina lost ball possesion with germany playing attacking. klose (germany) scored and equalised. finally. it was a really nice goal btw :)

it stayed that way till game ended. and the extra 30 minutes, also still no change.
finally penalty shoot outs! with a second ranked argentinean gk, germany won 4-2. i will not yell at the german goal keeper and call him lousy anymore! hahaha, but the sweden gk was better lah. but anw even the first argentinean keeper isnt as good as the german one, so w/e. the 4 goals by germany were by neuville, ballack, podolski, brovorski (duno how to spell).

wheeee~
SO BLOODY HAPPY.

the 10 of us or so were watching and joking and eating, it was kinda a wild time. fun! :)
its gnna be germany to the finals! but i think its bad luck for argentina to be matched against germany really. brazil argentina and germany are top contenders for the finals. the rest are simply not good enough.. you dont even have to mention england at all of course. hurhur.

euphoria.

michelle
100789
foursix, tkgs
06A201, mjc
LIVEWIRE!, rolc church
into God' friends badminton keyboard/piano
music reading tibia chocs sweets sleeping eating
contact: tungmichelle@hotmail.com

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