uploaded phone's photos!
sabrina and me. mrt reflection! ;) i love this photo.

kenichi the 'jap' boy, me, zk the g_y, xiwen!

me and shinyu the fishball! :)

me and mel. one of the cutest girls in mj! her squealing has been said to "sound like a hamster being squeezed" hurhur :P

i missed chinese today since i didnt know there was extra chinese in the morning! and i skipped econs too. ms ivy quek saw me and went "isnt that economics now?" and i was like "no lah. its at 12.55" >< anw i initially did really think econs was at 1255 but i found out right before the actual timing that there was econs.

oh and pierre crashed my maths lecture. it was damn fun sitting with him, mei and mei's bf siwee :)

i killed a lot of money today on 2 taxi trips, loads of food. erugh. my shopping fund is disappearing into my stomach. i saw this ridiculous video of zukai dancing to Livin' Da Vida Loca whereby mel ran past and kicked his ass. it was hilarious! id upload it if i can. serena IRed it to me, so ill take it out and laugh whenever i need some cheering up. oh, the silly things my classmates does! weeyang made me eat tachopachi (whatever its spelt) today for the first time :x its squishy and not that great but nothing disgusting either. i had a nice talk with xiwen today, its been sometime since we've both been really busy. it feels nice :D

lit Modern Writing assignment i got 15.5, thats a B. oh please, can you just take the grade of these two first assignments for term 2? i think id be the top in the level for lit then :x i think. ive never topped anythin before uh. haha its quite.. enjoyable i have to say, tho im not exactly overly happy with it either. it could have been better. yup.

its like an unfixable puzzle;
i just cant conform to the singaporean lifestyle and mindsets. sometimes i wish i could, yet sometimes im glad im not. you cant have the best of everything i guess! other than wishing for the impossible utopian life, im quite satisfied with where i am. i just wish kyle could come back. 6 days to go. six to his 3rd death anniversary..

haha i PASSED MY CHINESE TEST!! :) -grins. b3 uh. like wow right? and some people (like kakwai, zukai) had called me repeatedly me a kantang. take that! :) ehhehheh. damn good mood uh.

i went to school today with quite a sian, lousy mood. tired of attendin lectures and tutorials. it doesnt remotely feel like the holidays has begun. i reckon things will really get wild when i leave for australia next tues. so excited kay? thats when the whole holidayin mood bursts out :) but then again, i probably have to do some studying there. imagine this. 2 whole weeks of being outo f town. and tehres mid years after holidays. yucks :x

went to the pasir ris beach with weeyang. climbed the rope structure. yes, in my school uniform. and never zhao gen lah! i wear shorts, like all girl's schooled girls. :) and i ate so much today kay. i was quite stressed up bout the amount of work that is overdued or to be dued. its like this week has more work than the usual school week! :( aiyooh. and i dotn get summation uh. i was sleeping durnig that lecture. haha.

its impossible to please everyone. hoping can be foolish, but its a nice thought nonetheless! haha.

a week to kyle's 3 year death anniversary. its been so long ago..

GP Exam; keepin my fingers crossed heh!

Learning Journey; the trip there was spent taking lots of photos on my phone. my phone totally rocks. :) ill upload them here or friendster soon! michelle is quite a happy girl lah. half the time was spent at Plaza Sing, had yoshi for lunch yumyumm :D took neoprints with sally hannah xiwen sabrina jiayi and in a few, zukai. all the girls. hurhur. ill upload it soon lah. we traipsed to Asian Civilisation Museum. i didnt like the place at all. firstly, it give me a creepy sort of feeling and i dont particularly like statues of Chinese Guardians of Gates of Hell staring at me. :S haha, i saw something which was quite funny tho! a group of five boys were sort of playing catching and play acting james bond with his signature gun sign around the artifacts. it was punctuated with bangs, booms and odd mixture of grunts. HAHA. seventeen year old boys playing like little kids in a playground. it was damn funny uh. but apparently a public announcement was made to MJ students to behave themselves. i wonder whyy.. hmm. ;)

X Men 3; man, i think mystique as a human is completely hot. really. so's storm and i think kitty pryde is really really pretty and sweet! :) stupid rouge uh, i prefer kitty with iceman. haha scott, iceman and warren worthington (the wings guy) were quite cute heh. anywayy the story was really action packed lah, but so many people died. so sad kay, that jean grey lost control of herself. and killed the cute scott. :X hahahaa! it was quite enjoyable. was sitting with the Cartoon Gang (pierre, dennis, jasmine) and weeyang. at the beginning i was chucking popcorn at amin uh, but he didnt seem to feel it. weirdd lol.

after; went to bugis with pierre jas dennis and a whole lot of vs friends of dennis :x they were quite nuts uh. zhihan and dennis ran thru the fountain and i got the video on my phone! will upload when i can :)

on a side note; i hate it when things in my life collide. it seems not to be able to be fixed. but really, im on the verge of givin up. aye. who cares.

i did these today:
1) GPP and Project Work planning/coordination
2) Chinese Compre!
its amazing i tell you luhh. i was so inspired today that i actually understood those passages! hahahaha.. im not that big a kantang kay :)

Singapore Idol makes me cringe at moments. some of them really cant sing for nuts, yet they are so desperate to make it. i feel that its more important to leave the competition with grace and dignity lah, then to beg the judges for another chance. i mean, its so obvious. they just cant make it what. hahaha

tmws GP exam. eww.
its a fear because i cant do anything to prepare for it and make myself feel better

okay. im bored.
ive done nothing today but blog hopping and frenster hopping.
i. am. bored.

WHY WONT SOMEONE WRITE SOMETHING INTERESTING OR JUICY FOR ME TO READ? gee. how tactless can i get? :X

things i have to do tomorrow
1) prepare for GP (no idea how really)
2) attempt Chinese WS and essay :(
3) prepare Econs
4) wake up in time for Church

tomorrow will be the new me! i shall attempt to mug.
fourth entry of today; a possible new record of this year.

i bought my new lovely phone -sighs blissfully

Nokia 6280

3G phone, 2 Mega-pixel Camera, Video & sliding functions, and its really light! talk about sweet :) i kept fiddling with it the entire night i got nothing done lol! :D in quite a state of euphoria.

great singapore sale is here, and all ive to do is get my money back! quite a few of my friends owe me money from eons ago. i shall buy more skirts (my pocket is not unlimited after all!) :)

thanks to em-jay-cee,
im having a minor-but-still-irritating pimple outbreak :x

ee. so much for having a clear face before this year!

Gem of Night yesterday night. mj's guitar ensemble sort of concert. it was quite funny lah. after some pieces, some of those jokers (i.e dennis, pierre, jas, weeyang etc) would yell 'GO ____'. but we werent exactly yelling for anyone in the concert.

like:
'go keropi!'
'go JASMINE'
'go kimbo!!'
'will you marry me?!'

it was dammmn funny. dennis and pierre made me choke quite badly on that fizzy drink when they yelled 'will you marry me' to some guy who sang More than Words.

anyway before that, pierre me weeyang, siusing, clement were playing pool lah. the first four games were won/lost by the black ball :x

there one piece 'we are the champions' dedicated to the soccer boys. they deserved it lah :) haha. nothing much more to say except that im sick now :( and my handphone crashed down on me :( ill be buying a new one this weekend most probably, so if im uncontactable till then, SORRY. :/

meanwhile, ill fear chinese and gp. jc chinese is waaay above me. its like sinking six feet below and under.. gp is unpredictable. i have no clue whether i will fail or pass. its all down to structure and content. gah. i hate this. should GP = language? they should make the language part of essays 70% of it. heck the content :(

back to my lit book, not more than the second page.
i <3 pride and prejudice anyway. its so unpretentious. unlike 'Heart of Darkness' which is all descriptive starts off with winds billowing, winds crashing and God knows what else. the style of writing annoys me to bits.

today was devastating.
the match.

the mj soccer boys team played hard, but the red card turned the tides. but the vj guys are hulking big thats for sure. their botak heads reminded me of a whole team of androids. so sad for the soccer guys lah, they really put their heart and soul into soccer. oh well.

hope never dies with passion for the sport.
there's still next year.
so hope.

me and sheena were screaming our lungs out. at every (mj's) goal, we were jumping and screeching like banshees (not a very nice sounding thought). our faces were as if we were running a 10km run or smthg. it was completely red and we were breathing like we just ran a marathon. anyway i met chua wanyun finally, and SHES AS AUNTY AS EVER. i love chua wanyun heh :)

dinner/supper with sheena weeyang pierre. joined by some of weeyangs class mates.
trashed some things out, and things are as good as before. or so i think haha! :) poor darren. i think i gave him another heart attack today again. :x

MJ - never say die :)
haha thats soo cheesy lah.

love is too complicated an emotion.
responses to make, and decisions that have to concurr.

one word: shit.

this is waay too complicating.
sometimes i wish i was damn ugly, short, superfat, stupid, ill mannered, boring.
that really cuts most of the complications out.
or even better, man with the lack of hormones and emotions.
haha, androids!

i dont want to count the numbers;
and i really wonder why, there isnt anything great about (it).
nothing.

and no, for the record, this doesnt mean ive made any decisions, or that anythings happening. i dont want to be caught in a bloody fixed situation again. sigh sigh sigh.

im such a stupid twat sometimes. i attract trouble like food attract flies.

guilty subconscience? i hope not.

this week has been quite good so far.
sally - gave me this really cute banana plush toy cos she knew i adored her purple eggplant (or whatever is it)
keropi - toblerone chocolates! yumm.
and whoever elses that i forgot :S
thank youuu :D

haha today was quite funny. i tricked keropi. you should have seen his face :x poor boy. :)

"i told that girl you thought she was cute/hot"
"what?! tell me you are kidding.."
"really! just tell her luh. no big deal. cute then cute lor"
"noooooooooooooo..."

tmw is the SOCCER FINALS at jalan besar against vj. i really do hope mj wins. hope they are in top form. reallyreally hope. sighs- oh, and i finally get to see chua wanyun after half a year! bet she's still as aunty as ever lah :) hahaha..

i absolutely dread chinese. i feel completely stupid when doing those incredibly hard ws, esp during the test. i just felt like casting the paper aside and getting a zero, trying it wouldnt get me much more anyway. gp; geeeeez. the damn arguementative essays. i still dunno whats wrong with my content! mr chiang is way too ambiguious. :( sighs.

i need someone pro to teach me the method of writing arguementative essay. believe it or not, ive never written before this year! i always wrote creative expression or free expression sort of essays. ha. im such a loser with those essays.

the current council is soo controversial. the people. the things they do. mj's major source of gossip.

i failed my gp essay. get that. failed. gp. essay.
its incredible i tell you! its all with the content. erugh. i really cant cope with arguementative essay. :( so much for thinking essays could drag my gp grade up. sighs-

today was non eventful
other than dennis being christened as Keropi the Frog. heh :D am very stressed about PW. being pw group leader is no fun at all. eurgh. i cant even handly my portion of the PW work.

holidays are of next week, but the real fun starts 2nd week when im off to Econs trip in Melbourne, Australia :) shopshopshop. and talk about fantastic weather, its gonna be pretty cold there :D cold weather makes michelle very happy.

then after that, its back to hell with 2 weeks to go to mid years. plus 4th week im off to church camp, theres a pretty tight schedule for you.

and thanks to a certain bear, im probly gonna obsess over ___ for a few weeks. then id be back to normal. tsktsk, the things i do to amuse my self. haha!

i love 06A201, and my friends in mj :) they can put up with my screwed-loose behaviour like no one else can.

today.
they made me rerun 2.4. so stupid okay. firstly, i was wearing court shoes not supposed to use them on track at all, no support no springs. without nike i cant fly :( haha thats such a cheesy line. and i had stitches while running and, the joints between my foot and leg was about to break off. whatever it was, i got 17.10 mins. bout 8 secs slower but who cares. i walked again. nasty ole habit. i wasnt even chuan after the whole thing..

chinese oral today AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW. its gonna be counted for midyrs and finals. like whatthehell. anyway according to CIA, he says everyone in the class failed chinese. unbelievable. what about the chinese whizzes like xiwen and sabrina? im still not used to jc style of chinese anyway. its soo annoying! i have this tremendous fear of chinese/

anyhow, on way back home, it was raining cats. drenched head to toe, and a group of guys thought it was damn funny lah; they even whistled. you dunno how pissed off i was, wet cold and still in the rain.

but whatever is it, im happy dry and bloghopping/friendster hopping now. ill think about that mountain of work later! heh :)

storms passes thru water
recline the day passes by
pain red glasses crack
mixture conflicts wanders

today was a momentuous day. really.
i woke at 11 left the house at 2. went to pierce reservoir for youth gathering. loads of monkeys on the roads. it was monkey infested no kid! anyway at the reserve itself, great great expanse of grass like wowee, more green than a school of tkgs girls heh ;) didnt play the games and stuff, body too ached out from napfa during the week. but anyhow, we went to some famous prata shop near pierce reservoir to eat. and just guess who walked in?

the one and only Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong to tabao pratas. haha!

it was hilarious lah. anyway the pm is really quite a warm and friendly guy. he was smiling and saying hi to everyone who did. but i feel sorry for them really, they are like monkeys on display. not any monkeys, but prized monkeys. i was so paiseh when church's uncle pete went 'hi sir, would you mind taking a photo'. haha surprisingly the pm walked out to our table to take with the adults, instead of us going to him. a small gesture really says a lot lah. anyway all the youth kids were like damn paiseh. if im not wrong, xw's reaction was 'wah, siao!'. hurhur. and guess what, he only drives an Odyssey. not an BMW, not a Merc, not a Lexus nor Porshe but an MPV Odyssey. quite a thrifty guy lah. i know my mom's side uncles will never drive an MPV for sure. nothing less than a Lexus :X anw sometimes i dont see whats the big hooha about the wages the ministers earn. for sure, businessmen like my uncles earn a few times or more than them. its just that other countries' ministers earn less. but does that mean that singapore should follow them? :S if the extra money ensures that singapore's government has extremely capable and qualified ministers, why not? anyway ill upload the youth outing photos and the photo some of the adults took with the PM later on :)

haha, and for the record; im not pro-PAP.

to complete: econs essay outline, history test, irksome literature book and poems, PW
wow, so little. :X

i. feel. lousy
:(

i wish a lot of things;
-

i love-
tkgs: nicole wanyun joce joy
church: natasha sarah junwen junlin samuel kenneth xp xw
mjc: xiwen melanie diyanah serena jiayi sally hannah adora sabrina rani reisha zukai darren weeyang kakwai kenichi amin, pierre jasmine dennis stella kimbo sheena mei... too many to fill up, you know who you are heh.
the tibia crew: huiyi, qiuyin, denise, arene, and too many else to name!
others: shawn renee mike laine marcus leon chris j.

i think i left out a lot of my friends unintentionally, sorry bout that!
just off the top of my befuddled head.

i completed my lit assignment waay in time :) went to maths tutorial with a completely empty tutorial tho, felt really bad about that. but cheyanne chua didnt really bother with me. haha! oh well, i shall do my entire AP tutorial later on. and my binomial assignment which im over dued for. as well as GP tutorial :( maths is going way too fast for my liking really. also cos ive always been slacking off maths luhh i guess.

2.4 wasnt too good today. it was a really crummy morning, and my shoelaces come undone not once but twice. i had to jog out of the main stream and retie my shoes laces and run back in. talk about wasted time and momentum. i ran the first 1 and 1/2 rounds then walked most of the others. i was monitoring my time on the watch lah. i was literally aiming for just a D. was pretty lax. haha but down to the last 25 secs, i was only half way down the final circle so i chionged down. i didnt make D by 2 secs >< sheesh. haha! i know, time keeper reaction time slow :p LOL dont care cos i checked with a PE teacher, apparently for J1s, only need a bronze. hurhur. im such a bum lah.

went to macs with jasmine and pierre after school. pierre was imitating this girl's whine for quite a long period of time. haha i wanted to whup him. what kinda miranda capt are you? :p such a gay one tsktsk. jasmine is so cute lah!

and went home with weeyang after his training ended :)

listening to: Tell the World and What the World will Never Take by Hillsongs!
it puts me on a new high, ever since the rolc youths performed such a great and close substitute for it. almost exactly the same since we bought the original scores for the May1st performance :) heh, xp, xw, and samuel are exceptionally talented i have to say that! :)

soldier; pressed on for the fight.
qing qing song song, xiao xiao sa sa
gone with the winds.

its nearly 9pm and i havent started on my Essay Assignment, which is dued tmw! haha. not really worried. after all, the stipulated time given is AN HOUR. but bet you all those kiasu people out there spent at least twice, thrice, quadruple times of that! :p hurhur. its probably cos i just woke up, and my brains dead. no overt motivation to complete my assignment :)

im pretty proud of myself today.
i did not do the following:
1) going out after school and reaching home past dinner time
2) sleeping straight away after reaching home
3) eating for over a duration of 3 hours

what i did instead:
1) eat for an hour
2) did my Inequalities Summary
3) finished my letter to huiyi
4) slept at 630 till 830 :X

oops. brb :( my dad's calling

i. am. stressed.
if only it was due to studies huh? -laughs wryly. so much to say, but not sure how to put it down accurately in words. not sure if i should put it down anyway. such a state of finality it would be. tsktsk. lit and the nonsense ive been influenced with!

oh and thanks huiyi for your card and letter :) just received it today! <3 you guys lah :) :) :)


dont hold me back, dont hold me down
let me fly a little farther, faster;
free.

i subpassed econs only like whatthehell? :( so disappointing considering it was simple. anyway aside from that, i got the mid year exams' schedule. haha so pressuring can? but unlike secondary school, there isnt 9- 10 subjects to study for, nor a whole 2 weeks of papers :) it finishes in barely four days. the only nasty day is when i have maths and lit on the same day i believe!

in terms of grades, at least i subpassed everything i guess. but that isnt really the point since i feel i should be performing way way better. -shrugs. oh well.

skiped councillor's investigature today, followed jiayi sabrina amin and bel to TM to get serena's present. felt bad cos i was talking on the phone most of the time, but we werent there long anw. reached home by 430 :D shockingly, the people that i thought would skip CI (like dennis and pierre) went for it. after i got home, i ate, ate, ate, and crashed to sleep till now! my eyes are completely groggy. cant even focus properly on the screen!

i need some motivation to complete my hw. i havent done any work for the past 2 days at all. deadlines are looming ahead, threatening to spoil my temporary paradise :(

nothing momentous today, aside from M&Ms which really made my day. nothing beats a sugar rush lol :)


running to catch the ride of my life;
dont leave me back here waiting

i passed History essay, not bad considering i didnt study for it
i subpassed Maths test, not happy about it at all :(

i hope i pass Econs too! :)

today was a pretty good day all in all. ate recess with pierre dennis and some of my class people. i pulled dennis' ear stick out haha! was rather cheery today lah, no depressing classes aside from Maths Tutorial which was all my fault since my binomial notes are blank, and i know nuts on it (due to falling asleep). i didnt do my tutorial at all, so you can imagine the frenzy as i tried to learn the completely alien concepts, do and copy down the correct answers all at the same time. i was pretty fed up, but i think i gotthe gist of it. i skipped history extra class. it was after school, got a green slip heh. i hear teachers read blogs but who cares. i called my 'dad' to get out of school. was quite tired lah, late nights and all. plus it is history after all.. went with pierre to eat at white sands, and we were sitting by the glass panel that faced the road when we saw dennis. sorang again. ;) hurhur. we were so nice to wait for dennis to eat lor! and he repaid that by insulting me the whole time. pierre as well lah! hopeless freshies. tsktsk. oh! and while weeyang was at the soccer field training, i yelled GO BOBO! hahahaha! so stupid okay.

i realise that im not a person to have many acquantainces. i always only hang out with my good friends.. i dont care about popularity lah, or how im perceived by others. as long as my friends think im okay, im okay :)

i write like a bimbo today. tsktsk.
just quite happy, havent got to the homework yet :P

i yearn to go shopping. not window shopping please! have to buy my fbts, as well as that really nice pair of running shorts. i want new running shoes :(



where my heart can be free;
fly.

NAPFA today;
i got As for shuttlerun and sit and reach. basically i can get at least a Silver, if i dont screw up my 2.4km. then YAYNESS, no physical fitness conditioning for the rest of the year! :) i feared messing up everything, except sit and reach LOL. i thank God for helping me with my NAPFA. really, i could not have done it without him. for the past few years id mess up one different item each time. but this year, i didnt! :)

i was in generally a good mood, except for this weird pain in my leg and foot joints. i hope i can run 2.4 come friday!

my maths paper was badly done. i got only a subpass :( it was a simple paper and i have to say that i really made a lot of careless mistakes that should not be tolerated. did chinese test today, it was quite a killer. lots of yanyus, thats figurative language, for you. lots of long long essay readings. eww. i hope i can pass.

i really want to be a more optimistic person. actually i feel that i am, just that im weighed down by a few certain issues.. ive got to be less straight forward too. in some sense that is. some people are be more sensitive, even the guys. so i should be nicer. no, this is not aimed at any particular issue. its just a general feel :S i want to be a happier person.


where my heart can be free;
in that secret place
where maybe you'd be able to find me.

im in a jolly good mood!
a good jamming session with the youth band never ceases to put me in a fantastic mood. all cheery and whatnot heh :) the youth band is seriously quite steady; we got veryvery talented musicians. which is big praise, coming from me! hahaha..

i have to diedie complete GP essay and chinese and work on my history tutorial outline! :(
i detest arguementative essays! :( :( :(
i dread touching them.
i fear Chinese tests.
i fear NAPFA too.
theres this mental barrier in my head, somehow..

God's strength will pull me thru;
even as simple a thing as this.

''I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me''

12th May -
interesting, but unsettling night. but i have confidence i will not screw up anyone nor anything this time. i will not be rash, i will not be impulsive and cause everyone to be uncomfortable with each other. i wont! bottom line is friendship is the basis for everything else

today, sam had this ultra complicated youth worship. he lead sing, and played bass at the same time. half way thru, he changed to a guitar. xw changed from guitar half way to the keyboard. the songs picked werent easy either. but a decent first attempt aside from my brother's a little strange singing heh ;) had dinner at Imperial Treasure, the food was pretty weird! anyhow i didnt buy anything tonight at marina square. i bought this REALLY NICE Mango blouse the night before! its only $60, quite a decent buy! retail therapy heh. its been a long time since ive bought anything. im picky i have to say. i always end up liking similar things to what i already have, so i always end up buying nothing.. haha!

aside from a mounting hw, im pretty happy.
i really have A LOT of work to do. time to burn midnight oil. i keep saying tht but i always end up falling asleep on my table! :(

felt really crummy during GP yesterday, somehow my brain was completely blank and there was this terrible buzzing sound in my head. migraine. anyway i ddnt do the GP essay in the end, felt really bad but i really couldnt complete it there and end. heck, i barely could start! took 4 panadols. ive been carrying them sometimes lately.. ha.

apparently the guys in class got all the girls in class flowers.. haha, its really touching and really sweet of them :)

music extraordinaire was not too bad aside from the fact that it was in chinese! the soloists were mainly decent except for the last singer who screeched her heart out. but it was a hard song i have to admit. the winner, no4, was rightly and duely crowned. as for the group performances, it was sadly lackluster. xiwen's band was by far the best and of course they won.. but i have to say rolc church band rocks more tho! :p congrats xiwen!!

nicole crashed mj, i miss that cow lol :) she got me a sunflower and dont ask me why.. after the whole thing, i jas, pierre and weeyang went for supper at bedok. so darn tired after the whole day. i reached home past 11, still in my school uniform :S

this weekend is going to be hell with the amount of essays and tutorials i have due. i have no confidence that i will complete it in time considering the amount of time i spend in church each weekend

my eyes are unbearably sore and red after 16 hours of contacts yesterday. sigh- i still want to go back to sleep. and i really wish no one was at home, and i'd have my peace and quiet all to myself. thats one problem with me i guess. way too independent in some asense

okay, down to econs essays now :(

burning up, really burning up. bout 38 degrees plus :X my normal temperature's hardly past 36, so its kinda weird. after i got back from TM (went with sally, darren, kakwai and amin. yes amin's back), really exhausted i even fell asleep in my living room in my school uniform :S that was just bloody amazing, since i never ever hang around in anywhere else but my own room. i just shut myself up. woke up about a hour later, stumbled to the third floor, barely made it changed and fell back asleep. finally woke up at about 815 :X

such a loser heh :)

i really dont feel like going to school tmw. i have to finish history essay by tmw, as well as maths tutorial and check on lit presentation, start on GPP for project work but all i feel like doing, want to do, is sleep.

sleep, sleep, sleep!

urgh. speaking of weekends, i have even more work loaded up this weekend. i believe i am quite dead. :(

part of: runaway by linkinpark
Graffiti decorations
Under a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learned were never true

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

part of: ordinary by train
Whose eyes am I behind
I don't recognize anything that I see
Whose skin is this design
I don't want this to be the way that you see me

I don't understand anything anymore
In this world that I'm tired of
Is taking me right up these walls
That I climb up To get to your story
It's anything but ordinary

its tiring, to be constantly be a step ahead. to be anything but ordinary, and the rat race has yet to end. do or die. okay time to attempt history. :(

hohum. im up till my neck with assignments. pw is hell. appointed 'group leader' tho i dont really deserve it; ha its just because the rest want to slack off i bet! :0 oh well.

im still waiting for my hair to grow :( its taking AGES. (okay, i just cut it saturday) its ridiculously short and theyve been telling me all sorts of weird comments!

today was remarkably uneventful.

i waited, maybe a little
disappointed. it didnt come.
-
in a way, i wished i hadnt let go so long ago. but it'd never haf lasted with the impulsiveness and immaturity of myself then. but yeah, i do know its long over, at least for me. im just wondering how things might have been different i guess! ahaha. foolish thoughts.

MJ vs. RJ 0-0
mj still qualifies for semis anyway! :) i was quite disappointed with the match tho, the mj soccer team did not seem to play as god like as they did on the cancelled Rj match that fateful monday. i have to give due credit to rj, they played much better today.

anyhow i found out absolutely amusing. its amazing, how everyone can be so nosy heh :)
i shall have to study econs tonight and thats about it! and for the first time i was late for school today and i cut history since it was the first period. :X i shall not do my history essay till tmw or smth, im really too lazy.

quite tired and im still not used to my very short hair. i cant wait for it to grow!

its no wonder some people think im a freak.
ha. erraticness.

ive got a nasty migraine.
okay sleeping pills time, hope i got some left :X

fcuk.
lousy mood again. whys this happening. why am i so easily affected lately by small things, trivial things? sighs- i dont think i will ever understand it. ever. theres this whole torrent of emotions crashing down. sure, ive moved on from the past; in some ways i am still haunted by it. some things can never go away i guess.

how cliched.

yesterday-
mainly slept, nothing much aside from that. oh yeah! there was that trumatic hair cutting experience, yes its short again. sighs- no where to put my face come monday :(

today-
celebrated joce's birthday, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY JOCELYN :D we were all halfdead/exhausted. just over an hour of shopping, and we were dead. joy and i bought joce a nice dorothy perkin's shirt! and joce was flinching at my right arm muscles. 'eeeee why is it jutting out so much!?' thanks joce :S hahaha, its all badminton's fault. and biking too! :( anyway we were laughing over this sort of love letter. sounds mean i know, but it was quite funny cos joce is your taitai sort of girl and she was quite freaked out by it. anw some old photos;



my two friends jocelyna and joy are really quite pretty as you can see :D

i havent touched my PI which is dued tmw, my Econs (test which is tmw) and my Hist Essay (dued tmw) not to mention a whole lot of other hw that i deem as unimportant :X

i dare say tmw i might just meet my maker.

yesterday night was a pretty strange/interesting/weird night. i dont know whos psycho enough, but me, to rehash the past. the two years that has gone past or more. its kinda strange that the events remembered and thought to have happened are so different. at the same time, its quite good that able to talk about it so straight forwarded, no hidden daggers behind each others back. i really appreciate it.

well, curiousity killed the cat.
it really did.

mixed feelings i guess.
but nothing too big, or important. most importantly, im happy with where i am now. perfectly contented. :)

serenity.

Pierre is MIRANDA's new house captain.
i knew it. so shoot me! :)
congrats pierre. yay, even tho one freshie dropped out, that other freshie didnt disappoint me heh :DDDD

this sunday's joce birthday, haven got her present; pretty broke, but ill figure out smthg. i probly haf some spare cash stashed away somewhere, but i just gotta find it :S my social calendar has been too busy for my liking; yes i do feel guilty that on the rare occasion that im at home, i sleep away my hours instead of completing my long overdued homeworks or revising for those nasty ole tests. im not faring very well tho, except for Lit which i shockingly got a B- which was i think the highest in the class. so much for only writing two sides with humongous left side spacing on the page in the fear that i would not even be able to write two sides! ^^ i was unbelievably exhilarated considering the fact i did not have the confidence in JC literature for nuts. if you had met me in class then and asked me for lunch, i'd probably have taken you up for it. i was trying to contain myself tho, not too nice to be happy about my paper when some of my other classmates did not fare too well at all. i believe the majority had Es. anw that was pure sheer good luck; i think i messed up the second essay assignment, but nvm. and i fear the release of the maths test. i believe i messed up that substandard paper. messed up so badly i may not even be able to pass but oh well :( econs test's on monday, no mood to even flip thru my notes..

sometimes popularity may not be a good thing. although more people may know you/like you, more people'd dislike you too. saw this girl's blog whose tag was completely flamed. poor thing. i enjoy blog hopping, even tho i dont know who these people are. just to admire their sense of writing i guess, and maybe, just maybe, laugh my self silly with the incredible things people can post! and i just find this sort of writing bLoOdY aNnOyIng, dOnt yOu tHiNk sO ToO? ha

thunder, storms, and drips of rain

i think im shallow at times. but im not going to settle for less. i wont!

plugging; myhappyending //avril_lavigne
gee i havent heard this in ages. it spills of angst, angst, angst. i dont even have the energy to expend that anymore.

pretty much was in a lousy mood today, dont know why. reckon it was the weather and the fact that todays the last day of school.

about napfa, i reckon i will fail. i stroll my way thru 2.4km, and weirdly, tho i can do crunches quite well, not sit ups. i dislike PE because of NAPFA and the grading factor. im fine with running, but at my own slowpoke pace. cant wait for badminton training tho, think with such a long break ive deproved.

i'd have to do something with my moods. at this rate, im gonna effing scare away all my friends! seriously. somehow, as much as i love school life and my friends, it exhausts me and i have these mad mood swings. i hate it. but at least, i get cheered up really easily lah. just do some stupid thing in front of me and ill probably laugh :)

really tired. todays a friday and everyones going out. but me? nope. i want to go home and sleep. shawn and the gang asked me to go to para to meet them since it is a rather rare occasion that reyes is back in town but no point going there if im too tired to even walk. the gang is pretty much an upbeat bunch. haha renee's a munchkin ^^

i dont want to reply the email. i dont want to get any emails. i think im running from something, but im not sure just what.

MJ vs. ACJC 5-2! :DD
today was more or less a perfect day aside from not being able to breathe properly in the damn library; was almost choking in there.. :X so strange. but anyway at the sports gallery, it was so stuffy; sweated buckets. watched the match with pierre dennis mak; they kept making really silly comments. and mak lost his shoebag which contained his clothes and phone so we went hunting for it for quite sometime. we were trooping up and down the school buildings checking for his damn bag. later on he said that maybe the floorball team grabbed his bag by mistake. i hope they did, but i'll probably strangle him for making me and pierre do the amazing race in mj :S

went back home on bus with mak and weeyang. Pierre made Miranda House Comm. CONGRATS :) so knew it lah; i have hardly made any wrong bets ^^

i feel like ponning school tmw, such a waste of time lessons like PE and GP are. its only for maths, that im staying. im really dreading econs test come bright monday morning. blah.

weird; after i woke up at 815 pm today after a nap, it felt like a nasty hangover. felt really crummy.

anyhow! i still have yet to check my email, i dont want to. i really dont want to, sighs- my PI is finally ME according to mr chiang, tho its way better than that junk EE one they gave on IVLE. my econs is really in pieces, i have to read up sometime.. should not sleep too much!

for once im at a loss of words to say..

oh, one final thing. mj will beat acjc tmw! :)

i dread the mid years. effing nightmarish things! still a really bad migraine, and i still dont want to open that email. im such a scaredy cat, i am. ha, who'd ever knew?

i feel like such a bastard.

work, has lightened a little. but my erves are however, taut over those letters. weeyang was spelling out all the nasty possibilities :S i should apologise to some of my class guys tho, they will know what i mean. esp kakwai since hes innocent. hahaha blur sotong ^^

my PI is 'almost ME' according to mr chiang. finally. hes soo nitpicky, at the same time, a little confused as well. now my problem is how to cut down 200 words. yes, i exceeded by 200+ words :S

i cant wait for badminton really, i can feel my muscles loosening with the amount of brownies i eat a week, all thanks to perkcafe. thus if my figure goes out of shape, its Perkcafe's fault. the brownies are wayy too temptacious. :)

ha, im really turning in to a vain pot. i never cared about my eating habits before.. i reckon its cos of badminton, sort of the hard work gone to waste?

i miss my tkgs friends; jocelyn joy nicole wanyun especially :D

i wonder if its a mean thing to do; sure its funny but not if the person in question may be rather sensitive.. sighs. the photo was pretty hilarious tho. most of us thought it was okay, 'cept xiwen who said she saw something.. about the friendster, well see how! but honestly the way the guys rib everyone and vice versa, it shouldnt be taken seriously.. i mean, if you can say the same things about others, why not yourself?

dunno lah. my perceptions of things are rather skewled.

i got a second letter, and yes i was pretty freaked out. and not happy. why cant people be normal for God's sakes and drop me an email instead of hand delivering! i do not appreciate annoymous letters. the sec two incident has made me scared out of my wits.

YAY Chinese test is not this week. -grins. Econs is not this week either.
that makes Michelle a very happy girl.

so far.

youth performance was pretty great today :) honest. i think only one minor mistake overall, but it was still good ^^ im telling you we got top rated keyboardists, vocalists, drummers, bassists, guitarists!

however, one of the short little speeches by one particular guy annoyed me. pissed me off would be a better term. whatever he said had double meanings -.- like any lit obsessed student, he used a whole torrent of symbolism which had negative underlying insinuations. blah.

went parkway to do a bit of homework w/ weeyang and kakwai at yoshi at 2. darren and zukai appeared later shortly. i feel stupid at maths. at econs. esp chinese. at more or less most things!

i wish i was smarter.

cant wait for school anyway; parents are a little obsessed on hanging out with friends part. they think that hanging out with a mixed group of friends would certainly end up in pairings, which is utter nonsense anyway. pairings dont mean anything anw. ever heard of platonic? apparently that word does not appear in my parents vocabulary. while my parents went on on it, i was half laughing half crying.

that thing i got, gives me a stupid headache. its a bad deja vu.
switchblades peppersprays, anyone? pssft, im going neurotic.

michelle
100789
foursix, tkgs
06A201, mjc
LIVEWIRE!, rolc church
into God' friends badminton keyboard/piano
music reading tibia chocs sweets sleeping eating
contact: tungmichelle@hotmail.com

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