i dislike dancing quite a bit. im just born with two left feet, nothing i can do about it. i dont feel like going to school tmw. lessons are hist and maths. history h2 i wont be taking no more.. so i don feel like taking. as for maths, its tutorial just a few qns done, so i dont really care.

i feel like coming to school in morning and walking out. shhh.
i suddenly feel the urge to consume myself with books, stories and tales.
or going home to sleep. im hardly at home now..

someones back. and im happy :)

i am quite tired. yesterday left house by 10am and came by nearly at 11pm :S did pool yet again. the history esplanade show was boring. really really boring. i still dunno whats Khmer Rouge really is, besides that they killed more or less anyone as long as they were alive. anyhow todays church was pretty funny; xp was pretending to be a girl and was fascinated by some details that i did not expect to hear from some people i will not name.

i havent touched history essay and im stil in a dilemma about History and Lit. i like history buts its really tough. lit seems so much easier. however, i prefer history. at the same time, if i take history i may not land up in the same class as my current one. however, history will get easier in the sense that we wont have to do so many essays because of the new system of how they do things.

howw?? :(

anyway about the handphone bill i mentioned previously.. because of that i lost some numbers. my mom deleted them. -sighs.

i want it back.. so much.
its not feasible i know. its damn well not.
and i get frustrated about it sometimes..
so so frustrated.
:(

i am flat broke.
damn flat broke.

blah. i hate the feeling of an empty wallet. so goes: my dearest mother sees the handphone bill and the overseas charges i made. and ouch! there goes $30. plus i recently secretly bought a starhub top up card costing $25. shh :o plus that espirit top as well. :S

i know im interested in doing banking in the future.
but i dislike money matters. MY money matters.
i dont like being calculative with my own cash.

todays PCCGs lesson was about relationships. i dunno, but i feel the case studies are rather silly. the main problem with those relationships is that the problem roots with the individual themselves. hur. i like that quote on MJ's mini sort of magazine. something about if you love someone, let them go. if that person comes back, its meant to be. if that person dont, then that person was never yours. i like that so much. the other three quotes were rubbishy. this quote is so ... 萧洒 (xiao sa)

some of my classmates were saying that if you are in a relationship itself, its quite hard to do that especially if you are extremely emotionally attached. for myself, its quite a different story. even if i like a guy veryvery much, i can let go..

easily.

it can be a bad thing of course.

for now im not giving up yet. it hasnt been realised but its a hope
a dream; that maybe, just maybe it will come true. its no more a simple affair. its across borders, across countries..

ha todays badminton training went quite well im pleased with myself. as usual when i first start ill be sputtering all over the floor as rigid as ice cubes. but after i really warmed up... wooooh. shiok lah.

anyhow i STILL hope those people will stay man. PLEASE STAY :D

im waay behind for econs and maths after missing consecutive lectures cos of OGL and sick :/ i really need to catch up.

todays episode was funny :)
i wonder ________

today i spent A LOT of money on taxi. 10 bucks to parkway. and 3 bucks back home :S anyhow i also bought an Espirit top; its quite cute lah. nicole buys the strangest things that i shall not mention. today was super tired i dunno why. by 11am i was completely brain dead. you can pull out 4 fingers and wave in front of my face and i might just count them wrongly.

oh yeah. nicole tan is like this little kid stuck in a girl's body. she goes mad when she enters the toy section in Isetan. she played with nearly every damn toy in sight it took like half an hour to get out of the toy section lah!

btw i aspire to take over Espirit one day. they have the prettiest clothes, ever! you dont see any ugly things at all. too bad the price is quite OUCH lah.

-running and running.
i wish * were here

today i didnt go to school :O sick and exhausted. lol anyhow later on i'd better read up on econs and do maths cos im missing some important lectures today :S and last friday for OGL training camp too :/ oh and i got exempted from PE for the rest of teh week, including badminton training. -sighs. seeing my how my training goes.. im far from the mark.

four years of training does make a big difference and i wonder if i can catch up in time or should i just join other CCAs. lucky people are good at one thing, sadly im not good at anything. im okay i think, at most things.

oh and i hate eating medicine. i can raelly swallow the tablet sorts. a big reason why i dont like seeing doctors as well.

since i have so much time today. i'd better study and catch up.

geez. im turning into a mughead.

i think im cracking under pressure.
i cant cope with so many activities and damn subjects like history all at the same time. i have to find something to forgo..

i just cant cope.

OGL Training Camp is bloody tiring. by the end of 2nd day where Wet and Wild supposed to take place im completely bushed. my brain was completely shut down and so was my body :S was feeling quite bad so i didnt take part in WnW anw the group was so big no one really noticed. a group of 40 people hello?
i chatted with some of the Councillors a bit and that was all till dad came. dinner was buffet.

it is for real or not? sometimes i cant
f-ing tell. i hate these ups and downs; this
unstableness and unknown
could you tell me for once?

today was quite a lousy day. lessons were fine but things got messy after school.

my right ankle and arm still have some problem, but i ran anw, during the track practice that badminton people have to attend. my ankle hurts like shit now. didnt want to upset the coach any further.. seriously right, i think it was too abrupt lor. just suddenly "thank you for your time". i was shellshocked. no words to say. anyway to cut the long story short;
final result?
half the 2nd squad isnt there anymore. buhbye to:
jacqueline rebecca kaisheng lychee
OH GAWD PLEASE STAYY!! :(
STAYSTAYSTAYSTAY!

dont go to that laoya TJ or SA or whatever.
sorry lah im sure they are cool schools but i want them to stay in MJ's badminton!!
damn sian, dunno if i should continue training anymore
i mean i like badminton, but friends was a big motivating factor as well. -sighs. esp since 2nd squad training is damn tough :S

i didnt attend OGL meeting and i had to run back and forth from training to hand in forms and pay for stuff. -sighs. im not quite prepared for tmws sentosa thing lah. plus im aching all over from training!

oh and i apologised to that girl too. its way overblown.

tmw will add mroe sore muscles to today's
damn

im seriously seriously most probly gonna drop outta history. cannot tahan so much lah! sighs- apparently the teachers are sort of taken advantage of. honestly, i feel thats utter rubbish. bull shit. come on. we havent even disrupted the class or anything at all..

anyway most of the 2nd squad badminton people did quite well for o lvls, and are leaving MJ :S im hoping they stay lah.

darren kakwai amin sabrina came to my house for lunch today. rather they took away laksa to my house.. thankfully, amin didnt destroy anything :P

im really tired and really broke.
i need more time in a day seriously.
to sleep and to do homework :S

Happy Valentine's Day! :)
v day this year is quite sad. i know its silly to like someone whos overseas. i know its not practical. but, blah, its the heart. and what can you do about it? :S ive looked back in my past and realised that most of them, were frankly, a waste of time. not just my time. theirs too.. but somethings i wished i had kept, i wished i havent given up. but you cant have everything i guess. hopefully something feasible will come my way..

afterall, with life, comes hope :)
and so, this year ill wish all my happily attached friends that they may last, and that they will appreciate what they have. sure, lifes full of opportunities, but what you have now may be better than in the future..

today the CG went to TM to celebrate amin's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMIN :) anyway we played pool before lunch and after lunch. mel, annabel, shinyu and zukai finally learnt the fine art of pool! :D lunch was at seoul garden, gawd, we all smelt like a bbq after that.. but the food was nice! :)

some of the girls wanted to go shopping, but you know how dammnn hard it is to shop in a big group. any way im am super duper broke.

spent today
taxi - $9
lunch - $13
taxi - $5
hair cut - $20
total - $47

how much my parents gave me - $40 including for hair cut and the whole week :S it means that the money i spend this week will be eating into my very small savings -.-

the powers to be have kindly informed me that, if my hp bills dont cut down at least $10 more every month, my pocket $ will be cut accumulatively $10 each round. and, from my weekly $50 pocket money 10% to church. 10% to savings. gawd. i cant survive on $40 a week! not with the damn expensive school food and the bottles of water i have to buy every training!

in short, I HATE MONEY MATTERS.
its so frustrating, i dont like being all so calculative and stuff. blah.

today was fun; just that at the end of the day i was reminded of some stuff :(

oh and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY all, even the singles :P

i think im kind of depressed.

not over O levels results okay.. its just this heavy feeling i cant describe properly, nor do i want to..

i didnt do well for O levels. subjects that i thought i'd get A1s in i did not. i got 6 A2s instead :S i.e 12 Points. not good at all.

im quite disappointed. but then again even if i got like 8 points id still be disappointed. its weird i know :S i am grateful that i didnt do worse of course.. its just a conflict of emotions i guess.

on another hand, i think MOE has screwed up this year. people who are weak in arts aced arts subjects and did badly for maths. and then there are many peoples grades who have fluctuated widely. im not being biased or anything lah.

thank you for all the concern everyone has shown me.

my old tk mates
joce joy nicole wanyun etc

my mj mates
you know who you are :)

it happened again today. while i look up, the lights began to spin, slowly at first, then faster and faster.. then in seconds, it fades back to norm. it never happened in the earlier years; i think this is what is term as 'disorientation'? -sighs.
and then, theres the occurance of injury on my right ankle. i jammed it FOUR times today. gawd. it would seem i have a weak ankle. its quite an old injury, but i keep injuring it again and again. :S

i think its time to see a doctor. really.

i hate going to doctors honestly. thats why i always refuse to go unless im severely sick, so sick that i can sit up properly.

about the tags on my board.. its irritating.
dont people have better things to do?

good luck to all whos getting results tmw :)

training yesterday was fine, problem was i keep incurring some sort of injury. yesterday i was out of sorts and with each high lob i made, my back had this sharp piercing feeling :S yes it hurt. weird. im not looking forward to running track on thurs. bleh. why do badminton players have to run so much?

anyway today was ridiculously funny! we were in the library and kakwai kept humming to songs. its hilarious the way he does it. especially the song All the Things She Said. it sounded like.. a cat singing. haha! everyone was laughing like crap! i laughed till stomachache. i saved a voice recording of it anyway.. so kak wai, pay me or you'll see your voice plastered on my blog :P rofl!

lit was weird. some person was acting out of character and i was creeped out. i am extremely wary of this sort of people. often, most are two faced bitching and backstabbing ____(fill in your own word). the more that person was around, the quieter i became. i just hate it when undesirable things from the past come back to your present. i hope that person changes group or something.

till now i havent got my email. quite sad about that, but heck. ill be going to buy some v days stuff later on, hopefully ill remember :) my memorys like crap nowadays. too many activities and commitments i reckon.

oh and i better go research some of the songs im supposed to perform. :/

this weekend rushed by so quickly. youth worship went without a glitch, main worship wasnt trumatic so its fine :) i like the new system of youth teaching. problem is, its a little too slow. i duno but its.. pretty simple to me. sort of like comprehension in a way. and i have no difficulties in that at all. mebbe id like something more cheem*

anyway econs essays are quite beyond me. mm, i think ive not been listening too carefully in class. question 1(b) has been annoying me. ive read up and gotten the concepts, but the way miss quek has guided the question is odd. i just dont understand her terminology i guess. in the meantime theres still history to do. of which im not looking forward to.

its not say a lot of work lah. im just not used to doing work? mmhmm, probably. i want my o lvl results already. no, actually i dont care. i can stay here at this moment for always i dont mind. for worse or for better my grades, i can deal with it no problem i guess. ive always been able to cope with more or less anything.

i feel.. very guilty. i have been going out everyday. monday was movie, i not stupid too. tuesday was cousins. wednesday was parkway. thursday today i went out during the 3 free periods to downtown east. hurhur. the GP teacher scared me with the statistics. im not one to believe stories too much. i like my numbers to back em up.

i have decided to be more attentive in classes, to do my homework (not copy!) and to stay on top of things. with OGL, Badminton, vocal & keyboard classes, main worship pracs, youth band pracs and youth sessions, im nackered. i cannot seem to remember what i should be doing.. i need a big big BIG organiser.

o lvl results are out, i not too concerned. im -weirdly- more concerned about A levels. dont ask me why. maybe its because im way over the O level period. and after all, whats done, is done. :P

michelle
100789
foursix, tkgs
06A201, mjc
LIVEWIRE!, rolc church
into God' friends badminton keyboard/piano
music reading tibia chocs sweets sleeping eating
contact: tungmichelle@hotmail.com

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