today was a very LONG day.
ferst to school
then taipan (for lunch)
then to a maths tuition though i did e maths :)

i collected a whole stack of e maths paper to keep me busy this wk. chinese high etc.
im prayin x100 that what i know will all come out!
haha, hopefully as little trigo as possible. i dont like lah.

aiyo
so ANNOYING. i surf a bit of net also will die.
-sniffs.
sometimes its SO ANOOYING. im up to my head with school already.. =/

anyway i got the teachers day presents with cheryl and gladys after tuition :)

today english was okay lah.
i mean i envisioned the worst, so this isnt as bad
though it definitely wasnt good lol ;)
i only want an A1
-snickers. only eh? lmao

our school is nuts. so many damn surveys!
horrible stuff i tell you. so waste time lor..

i must do more maths paper 1 papers man. ive only done 3.
other people have done like 5 to 10.
-sighs

my ss is in pieces also. WHY HOUSING NO SEQ QNS TO ATTEMPT?
wah so annoying i tell you. also tmr i shall go ask laoshi for loads of chinese papers to do, cos i dont plan on revision sec 1 - 4 chinese ALL OVER again. can die i tell you.

i havent studied today at all.
its like im on a permanent guilt trip!
i just cant be as kiasu as most singaporeans lah =/

what a sad day it is, when my ambition is to become kiasu

oh yeah, ive been eating sososososo much. i think by the end of o lvls i will be overweight!
sucks to o lvls.
i love those chocs though. yummilicious :)

life is strange.

you would think you'd study better in a comfortable nicely air-coned with fantastic music.
apparently NOT.

i did better in the super noisy BK. :) lol

i did so little this wkend. yesyes i know TMRS THE START of PRELIMSS
but hey, i dont haf any more you okay.
-laughs

i was attempting some SS SEQs. errgh. some of them are PLAIN HORRIBLE.
honestly, how do you answer qns like "snr citizens are a resource and not a liabilty" what are the factors? and the details? anw, honestly i dont think they are resources neither are they liabilty. they *just* exist. -nodds

and im panicking over ENGLISH. horible isnt it. its so sad to panic over english. i tell you, its all mr ang's fault if i worried for nothing lolx :) according to him, i do not understand the passage often. i pass only because of the restructuring qns. dots lor. oh please oh please oh please! at elast a B3 for prelims lah. and hopefully they moderate up haha :) and SS is a headache. i hate lookin ahead. its so boring! cant standing learning that chapter. i havent even READ that chapter. and tis supposed to be very important. =/

what did i do today? 3/4s a E Maths Paper1. im such a bum. -sighs.

hokay.

only history today by mdm hassan was good. i knew most of the stuff she wa saying, except for the "usefulness with evidence to" part. unreliability doesnt mean its not useful. its just useful for something else :)

ms lui dint come. hmm i wonder if its bcos of cross country, plus the class shirt she doesnt like.. haha oh well.

i dint go either. i slept a bit, and did some SS SEQs. i dint write the whole thing out lah, i will die i tell you. i just wrote out the main points and stuff. but it was good. some of the qns from other schools were thought provoking. (hah, im a growing intelluctuallist =P)

my mouse is messed up. =/ so annoying! its LAGGY. you cant even drag the mouse ard.

oh yes, a last note. badminton was *quite* fun today.
i have uhm, de-proved a lot, but it was still fun. in case some bhb people think its cos of them, well no. its a beautiful game. hah :)

okay tmrs cross country.
actually right, ive no interest lor. plus its quite a waste of time honestly.

but i feel like really bad if i dont go.
wheezy and some of the class people are like all this is our last event together
and this and that. etc x10
im sure, i think, they dont mean it to emotional blackmail.

but saying things like "those people not going, dont make your opinions"
is a bit direct. and other comments as well.

>.<

sure that it doesnt mean anything, but aiya, let people do what they like right?
the way its put across, even unintentionally, remarks are like aimed at you kinda thing lor.

im a very "do wad you want" type of person.
i dont know how to express my self lah.

buy my point is live and let go, you know?
every one shd be able to do stuff without other people's commenting.

oh geez, this sounds so stupid.

i know, i know.
trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on our own understanding.

i suddenly realised i havent touched the Bible in a long time.
trust and believe.
trust and believe.
i feel the need to read the bible tonight.
and be rejuvenated.

im very tired. tho im not doing much work.
but im so bogged down.
so exhausted by the demands
the requirements
and my stupid brain's LIMITED capacity.

extremely limited i might say.
and i thought i wasnt stupid. i never thought i was brilliant or anything
but i suddenly feel immensely dull and slow..
if only i had BOH =P or time rings plx. haha tibia joke there.

and no i hardly play tibia anymore.

im turning into an antisocial freako
i hardly talk much.
i keep saying this, dont i?

hell.

i feel almost dead to the world.
you dont exist, see.

i look at my books and the time, the few days i have left
and cant help but realise i havent got most of it down into my brain.
i cant help but worry that i'll mess up like i usually do.

im worried that i'll fgt my factors for history
im worried that i'll not be able to write a sastisfactary essay for ss
im worried that i'll mess up my maths (both A and E) by being incredibly dense or stupidly careless
im worried that i'll suddenly forget how to spew out my lovely chinese phrases and flunk it
im worried that i will be completely oblivious to the passage and answer terribly for compre
im worried that i'll look at the chem paper and say, "oh shit, die."
im worried, no im scared, that when i look at the physics paper its as good as leaving it blank.
im so worried why i dont seem to be really concerned at all, although these nagging feelings seem to be somewhere, hiding in the dark.

yes, and good old me always seem so collected.
sure am, but somewhere inside everyone
everyones SCREAMING to excell
SCREAMING to be good at something.

and it really stinks when your good at nothing.
nothing. at all.

school was immensely dull.
i dont seem to have learnt anything today, nope i havent.

english was a waste, so was chinese, history and ss.
theres no need to mention emaths lah, huh.

i think i get lazy when i go to school. i sit in class and do nothing.
or rather learn nothing new.

llol, i really like my privacy.
school is school.
private life is weell, private.
haha.. yet another difference that i shant bother to explain.

prelims in less than a week. this stinks. im waay unready.

mm, in a really comtemplative mood.

it would seem im quite non-existent nowadays.
not that i really mind..
ive decolourised into a background picture.

ive changed so much..
i dont talk much
i dont connect on a true level with people.

relationships have turned superficial.
friends will be friends, but they (mostly) are not eternal.
and most just skim the surface.
there seems to be a glass barrier, somewhere.

i dont feel anger, i dont feel sad.
i just accept it; as i always have.

i thank God for what ive left that makes me happy;
even if it is temporary.

in a short period of time, it will be a step out of one door
and into another.
what i know of now, will go.
i wont be remembered, but in a sense, i like it that way..

[presses the stop button]

onto the next.

-coughs.
-coughs harder.

erughh. ive got a sore throat. =/
awful isnt it?

andddd..

IVE GOT O LEVEL ORAL TODAY
yicks. i hope it ends fast. such a waste of time to wait for people finish their orals.
i cld be doing physics (ha-ha)
or so i hope

going out after that, to meet old pri sch classmate, Sheryl.
then out somewhere again. :)

how time passes..
okkay, no sentimentality nonsense here.
good day to you,
and GOOD BYE.

(yes you may stop gawking)

just a lame self-quiz that has gone way out of fashion/out of date
this happens when your bored. (THIRD time blogging today!)

who: michelle
what: a girl who hates papers! hates hates hates (she uses up a whole stack of foolscap a wk)
likes: myself myself myself myselfff!!! ahhha, this is egoistic. but i like loadsa things; see my profile.

behavioural patterns:
school; classroom: quiet as a doormouse most of the time. or sleeping. can burst into christmas carols on the odd eccentricity hits me
school; comp lab (or any aircon-ed): at full speed up up ahead and awake!
school; chem lab: oh God, i hate the plasticky feeling of the tables and i cant even sleep on them cos the edges poke at my stomach. plus ammonia stinks, they really do.
school; physics lab: brain overload! INCOMING: dry tissue being stuffed in.
school; hall: assembly? yikes. pull up socks and belt please, before going to nap time.
school; outside compound: PE? la dee la, i dint hear anything. nope, i dint! i dint!
school; canteen: =))

church; worship: yayyy :)
church; message: depending, ranges from zzzZZZzzz and 0.0
church; eating: =))

home; bed: zZZZzz
home; room: my own prison heh, but i like it. out of bounds to you young hooligans!
home; living room: non existent except for meals.
home; other rooms: whaaat rooms?
home; keyboard/guitar: CRASHHH CRASSSHH CRAEASSSHH!

okay. thats it for now.
more later.

im so freaking pissed.
honestly, this is studyin-shit time (the big Os)
and if any thing i need a break.

B-R-E-A-K spells BREAK.
im not asking for a week off;
not even asking a day.

i just want my hour. ONE hour.
okay. 7- 8 happens to be dinner time at my hse.

i want to watch tv and she refuses
i want to use the main comp and that little twerp insists on his damn way

what the heck man. i cant even watch tv at all cos my living room tv's SPOILT
so i wait till my parents are back to watch their room one which they lock up all day.

i want to watch a short while
also cannot.
like will die like that.
its so annoying.

and juvenile.
will tv kill? it wont.

not say im addicted and watching for hours. its less than a freaking hour good graces.
damnit, its less than an hour!

school's not good, honestly.
yupps, loads and loads of details and subjects
rock that binds me down.

ive got a nasty headache.
history is a really nice subject, but so much details!
and the qns can come in a wide wide range.
its pretty hard. especially when theres both South East Asian and Modern World history to remember.
and theres that horrible o' physics. thanks to an absense of class for an entire year..
THERES SO MUCH I DONT KNOW!

i swear, i will never be so laidback ever again in JC.
that is, if i manage to get into a reasonably good one..

a bit late for regrets isnt it?
okay, i actually dont feel regret. im just PANICKING.

the thought of a B3 for a subject isnt really veryvery bad.
but if i get ALL B3s! omgg plx, L1R5 - 18. -dies

errugh.
ookaay. back to class; and the books =/

okaay, o lvl chinese results out.

it stinked. honest.

considering retaking. but then, do i have the darn time to? no idea.
its like im not really good at my other subjects anw..

plus at end of yr its harder to score cos of the higher MT people.

see how lor.

some pple were hysterical in class, some were really trumatized.
awful scene.

no offence, but it was pretty annoying for me.
i mean, deal with it lah.

alright, study hard all ;)

sam brought a truckload of NASS classmates to house.
so damn NOISY


some were alright.
a few were attitude-y, so i was a bit dao.
haha and i opened the door right on this girl.
-guilty. feel so bad.

i told him wad the bible said. -.- oh well.
no comments.

time is a damn awful constraint.

nat's sch has done abt 10 or more e maths papers!
and a maths too!

argghh.

i feel guilty.
i feel bad.
i feel like im one foot in my own grave.
buhbyes O Lvls.

arghhh.

WHY THE HELL WAS I SUCH A BLASTED SLACKER?

i promise i promise i wil be more diligent in JC! oh pleaseee.
-sighs. im freaked out by nat. big time.

michelle
100789
foursix, tkgs
06A201, mjc
LIVEWIRE!, rolc church
into God' friends badminton keyboard/piano
music reading tibia chocs sweets sleeping eating
contact: tungmichelle@hotmail.com

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