well, chem is holy horror.
i tink 6 sets of exams paper and countless more of set WS. i feel like crying everytime i look at it lor. and i hate QA. yucks, think i'll get ms fatin to go thru them with me. no interest in doing them myself lol.

i missed A maths tuition today, shall make up next weeek i guess. -sighs-

im so tired.
so little time, so much to do.

and theres stil school. it doesnt feel like holidays at all.
lathargy..
thursday gonna be pretty bad, a whole school day of physics! -.-

amazing. ms tee is simply amazing.

today was chinese o lvls. >.< the zaoju was crap, but then the cloze passage was easy. i duno if i can get A1 or not..

i went shoppin with natasha and kenneth. walk till i drop. ferst bugis up and down, then we took train to raffles city. walked like mad again. i bought a top, this bear thing and a file. nat bought the least. kenneth bought the MOST. lol, he bought clothes for his tennis match thing. omg, take so long! try and try and try. too short, too gay, too small, too big. EVERYTHING he got smthg to say. lmao, but anw he finally bought a set. my feet are sore now. we bought part of the Gins' belated bday presents. haha, not gonna say it here, cos they might read.

watched Chasing Liberty. while its fun to watch, reality are often not like this; fairytales belong to some old book.

im kinda worried abt chinese i guess, but wads done is done, so heck yeah. just leave it in God's hands. =)

its sorta painful. like stepping on your gut like. maybe its time to get on.

june hols are in. but they dont feel nothing holidayish at all.

i cant wait for church camp. i realise that if it was not for church, the people in the youth will completely not mix at all. totally different backgrounds, different stories, different lifes. the only thing that binds is God, and church. i hope the week passes real fast :)

a quiet reflection while my brother jamms at his new star wars comp game across the room..

life is kinda hopeless
life is mudane
you feel like screaming
you feel like giving up
you feel useless
you dont have peace
you dont feel joy
you dont think this life is worth it at all;

that is if you dont have God.
to me its quite simple, i may worry i may fret. but im always sure that God is always there for me. human is not infallible, no ones perfect, but God is.

trust in the Lord your God and lean not on your own understanding. some memory verse i had to learn when i was a kid.

lol, i think i must thank God for wad he has made me today. when i look back, even thru my old blogs, i see things which are no more today. angst, guilt, rejection, weariness etc.

lol, its pretty strange for me to suddenly spurt out the "preachy" sorta stuff. i rarely do..
i just thank God for all he has given me. even if i feel things should be much better, others have so much less..

chinese is affecting me, bad.

today was.. crappy.

got the result slip back. last term sucked since i completely didnt give 2 hoots and even got F9 for english. and if you know me, you'd know thats plain nuts. yeah, so when they combined my grades, there were below average. -sighs. my lovely A1 for a maths dipped. and so on. my L1R5 stinks.

the only consistent subject is e maths though. consistent alright; consistently failing. =P just by a couple of marks. its kinda strange cos' e maths is easy stuff, but i mess up anw. i got no interest in emaths actually. so dull.

anw, all im lookin forward to is the end of Chinese O Lvls. i'll be very happy when its over. ms ho likes giving out hw. -.- we're already coming back next wk for classes and she gives us 4 exam papers, just about the entire chapter of 3 chaps in TYS and some more ws. yucks. physics i got "lucky". had to do an extra test paper. bet u ms tee knew that if she didnt give me work, i wldnt revise or do much or smthg. its just as well. my bag's so heavy.

and im so surprised that mr ang isnt gonna call us back for history lesson. we missed so many damned lessons cos he kept going to support tennis matches. other schools are already in REVISION. and we are rushing lessons and have yet to finish. -scowls- he gave out a huge stack of notes. his notes always comes late. my history stank this year and i wonder why.. ha, sry im biased against him most of the time. =/

i think im not used to being nervous or worried or even a little stressed. im hardly ever. its no wonder im acting abit out of the ordinary. and if you make remarks that i think are dumb or i cant be bothered, i'll ignore you, give a stupid answer or snap back. i apologise ferst.

mm, so many things to do during the hols. go out x10, study for mid yrs aka block CAs, prepare for worship in church camp, build website etcetc. im overwhelmed. :)

tc all.

lol, today is carnival day. -rolls eyes-

the selling of food, performances, busking and all that. the money to charity of cos'.
anyway, to me its quite waste time lar. my chinese o lvls next monday leh. i wish it would never come, it would always be a week away..

anyway, the cheese had a fantastic idea. youth (church) site. he got the provider etc already. wants to even put in forum and individual logins and passwords. -whistles. mighty hard work, plus we're busy people. ive got a couple ideas already and some basic layouts drawn up, kinda. way cool. :)

im so frikin' worried about chinese please. im kinda in denial that its gonna happen on monday anw. so im not exactly studying. this is the ferst time im worried about grades at all.. i must get an A1.. -sighs. stupid larrr. =/

wish me luck. God bless all, tc.

okay. i failed two subjects this term. chemistry by 0.3% i think and e maths by 6%. unbelievable isnt it? haha. my only A1 subject, a maths with a 84% i think.

chem is justifyiable. i think only a handful passed. maybe 5.
e maths is crap. i dont understand why i can ace my additiional and flunk my elementary. -.- blahh.

tmrs carnival day. dont feel like going to school.
studying chinese at home would be a much better thing to do actually.

lol. chinese o lvls are making me a bit nuts.

haha, i think the upcoming O lvl chinese exam is really eating me up. my behavior has been a bit different and strange.

i cant seem to rmb all the impossibly huge amount of zaoju. this stinks.
wish me luck everyone. :)

tc all

2nd post
okay. i heard some things were quite disappointing.
actually it was veryvery disappointing. -sighs-
this stinks.
you hold your vision and esteem of smthg too high,
when it drops;
it lands into the floor with an incredibly painful crash.
splintered, broken.
maybe it was in a pique of anger.
but theres always an underlying truth, in every angry word.
you just gotta look for it.

anw this sunday i might not be ard. maybe..
see how things go.

rights, thats it for now.
[things drift past]

1st post
well. todays sunday. hmm, im stating the obvious isnt it?

anyway, church was super fun today. as usual.

til the ending part. there was a bit a room changing and some misunderstood stuff, hard to explain lar. anyway the bottom line is that i love my God, my church and all my church people especially the youth. so i hate for any conflicts or anything to happen. theres nothing against anyone personally. but im glad its kinda settled. church is kinda my heaven on earth. i dont want anything to happen to it. :)

i want everyone to be able to hang out with each other. no cliques and stuff. that would really really suck.

this june hols wil be one hell of a busy one. my mid yrs or block CAs are right after June hols, see. plus church camp and go outs (a lot) etc.

tmr's a holiday. i hope i can wake up late. im getting so simplicity lately. :)
rights, gtg. tc all.

you dont know how sick of chinese i am.

morning chinese
afternoon chinese
night chinese
breakfast chinese
lunch chinese
dinner chinese
eat chinese
breath chinese

this is absolutely disgusting. lol, well i can barely sit in my chair for more half hr without running off somewhere to do something else. this period of forcing myself to sit down is extremely taxing on my spirit and my brain. lol. i cant be considered hardworking tho, thats sad. i must improve..

went to youth meeting today. i didnt play keyboard cos my mother was yellin about studying and all that. i nearly didnt go to youth either. haha, anw xw got a handphone, finally. since duno how long till now.. -.- lol, and nat and junwen kept playing with it. if it spoils in less than a month, why am i not surprised? =P

okay, its late and my mother's nagging again. tc all. :) God bless to those who are taking chinese O's.

lol, thanks to those who stuck up for me at my tag. :)

anyway, schools exhausting. physically, emotionally and mentally.
today, half the class was reduced to tears for no direct reason. its scary..

im really worried about my studying methods and my grades. yeah worried, though im a bit lazy to do muchh.

i have to get an A1 for my chinese anyway. but im so ill prepared.. -sighs.

i need all the blessings i can get. please pray for me.
im going nuts with the work, and all the studying. this is the ferst time im really panicking.

okay. God bless all. tc.

today was tiring. i had to drag all the books under my table home because of some UG day. so dumb. but today was quite a good day.

atmosphere on the high.

anyone some -dolt- called me a slut on my tag and that i stole all worthy guys. >.< dont particular care. but its annoying i guess. i can guess i suppose who it is. s said he would track. lol. but a response to that tag is this. what guys? i can be super honest and tell you that i hardly go out. no time. i dont go out, and i hardly talk to guys. besides church ones and the occasional ones on tibia. -.- so lame. i'll delete it off soon, when i find my password to myshoutbox.com

i did qiuyins blog today, but blogger's not showing it yet.

the more i think about it, the more im annoyed. a stupid and untruthful comment whichs mars my good blog..

alrights, more on later. no mood to say anymore. ;)

haha, today was exhausting.

dont need to talk about school lar. no comments on that. -.-
i went parkway by myself this afternoon. yeah, so lonely rights? xD haha, wad to do. lately im keeping to myself more and more. anyway, somehow i prefer going by myself. i can do what i like. plus i dont have to open my mouth to talk. though i enjoy talking, i dont enjoy talking nonstop 24/7. my mouth will ache, and im simply too lazy nowadays. i bought venus and racer back black tee. cos' im going to the beach and church camp so it might come in handy. anyway, the weather is so darn hot lately. sweating buckets is indeed very apt.

i was doing qiuyin's blog last night. wanted to edit template this morning. turns out the id name's been changed. oh well, shall do it later on. :)

tuition today. chinese AND physics. physics was crap. no idea wad was happening. its like alice in wonderland. an entirely strange world. cos the teacher was only doing like part C type of qns. the hardest and longest qns. i hate those -.- who does like them anyway?

haha, huiyi taught me this word. "hum ji". it means coward or smthg liddat. she sed only rough people or "chu ru" people use it. does this mean shes one of them? LMAO. ;)

chinese o lvls in a week and half. -whines. im so not looking forward to it. lol! im not prepared at all. some people think im very slack. and some people like jocelyn thinks i claim i slack. the truth? its neither. =) dicepher that yourselves. i dont really care what people say lar. ultimately, as long as i know wad im doing, thats enough. plenty of people are floating and not knowing wad they are doing. wad its all for. okay, im pretty much in lala land too. but i know wad i need, and wad i need to do to get it. if i dont want it, its my business.

i still have no idea what JC i wanna go. even if i get six pts, i've stil no idea. so far, vaguely appealing ones are RJC, VJC, TJC or SAJC. actually, i dont honestly care where im going, as long its not longkang, if you get my meaning. and as long its not at the opposite end of singapore. such a waste of time of travelling. i dont like taking public transport lar. haha, yeah lit analysis would show tt im antisocial. i prefer a taxi of cos. faster, and private. private is a majormajor plus.

as you can see, im in a very strange mood. i think its the weather and school. everyone in school is kinda weird. uptight, tense, hyper, depressed, enthusiastic, the whole range, you've got it.

okay, enough for today. tc all.

haha. today has student-teacher conference. mr ang thinks im "over brimming" with things to do and activities and that i will "find myself unable to breathe". problem is, whats left of my "activities" are school, tuition and church. i already quit main worship comm, editorial etc already lor. -.- nothing left to quit. he said i had to "priortise". but i could tell he got no idea how im going to do that either. mr ang's an okay guy lar. but i just dont like teachers too much regardless. sorry, im biased. xD

anyway, i screwed up a maths today. so darn dumb. the questions were easy please. -.- the determinant is (2 x -4) - (3 x 3) which is equals to -17. im a goondu. 3 times 3 = SIX. -.- because of that careless stupid mistake, though my method was entirely right, my final answer was wrong. i was super upset. lolx. its a maths mah. my only subject that im doing quite well.. i studied 2 chaps of chinese sec 4 today. very happy. i havent touched chinese in ages. i feel so guilty. and i did the assigned e maths hw. all of it except for one qn which i was too lazy to do. haha.

i skipped financial planning talk today to go to a maths tuition later. i cant afford to skip anymore tuition. i skipped twice already. once bcos the next day was chinese mock exam while the other, i cant rmb. im too far behind already..

i kinda like my current design. its simple enough. i tink theres music but i havent listened to it. i dislike placing music tunes cos they are either distasteful, or after some time, they are considered very old already. lol.

as for the RL Tibian meeting thing. well wad was supposed to be a girls only outing turned out to be a full blown one. i dont mind of cos'. lol. if the full blown one doesnt work out, the girls can go out by ourselves. easier to organise anyway. it doesnt make a difference to me. yah guys are the same as girls, well to me. kind of lar, sometimes. i just dont know how to explain it. everyone's retiring off tibia. one retires, most follow suit. after all the best part of tibia are the people. they make up the interesting parts. =)

i dislike it when people are too emotional. especially for small reasons. over emotional-ness makes you weak, in a way. you are more susceptible to things happening around you and you often react in the wrong way..

okay, im late for a maths tuition already. tc all. God bless

alrights.

today was dull. i slept throught history and chemistry. utterly boring. -.- lol, yes i know i shdnt, but sometimes you just can't help it. anyway, my results are not -that- bad. definitely not good. but not bottom rock pit either.

nat says that the new connotation is "santa claus". he started laughing like crazy when he heard that. he was that amused. lol. oh wells. ive this bad feeling that people has misunderstooded. but oh well, settle it later.

desperate housewifes is stupid. but very entertaining.
im bored of tibia.
ive no time to study my chinese at all. i havent touched it in weeks.
financial planning talk is a waste of time. i could have studied chinese!!

yeah righht. ;)

i love my God. =)

okay, im changing my template back to the old one. cos' this template has some errors which i cant fix and neither can huiyi. -.- oh well.

today went to youth meeting. i led worship. it was pretty alright. part of the message had us in groups drawing things. haha, we drew a cheese (Swiss Cheese/Xw), a toad (XP), a mouse (JW), a fly (JL), a nut (Nat), an ice cube (me), a monkey (Kenzer), a tree (Anduril/Samuel). =P lol, it was pretty cute. hehs. then later on, kenzer took my wallet. the twins as well. those who know wad happened, well. wad can i say but WAH LAO. lolx. :P then, somehow the other guys got to know about it too. o.0 actually is only the twins and Nat know.. lol, sometimes people have loose mouths. =P but its okay, as long as it doesnt get any further. i'd be very annoyed and my lian se will not be very nice then. lolx. i flipped out, cos i didnt realise they knew. i was so shocked. i flipped out pretty bad. but it was kinda funny i guess. lol, i hope kenzer wont sprout his mouth off. im not so much worried about ray or solar saying. its unlikely lar. xD kenzer is very possible. anyway, the person's not in sg, was there a relationship. if you get what i mean.. lol.

im very happy tt i can go to church camp. :) i havent done any work at all. laods to go. chinese O's coming as well. =/

tmr's sunday. i gotta do my a maths (test and work), chem, physics, emaths (test) and chinese. that stinks, it really does. alrights gtg.
tc all.

trying out a new template.
its quite nice.
simple and straight cut.
i saw a couple more at www.blogskins.com that were interesting
i havent designed one myself for ages.

todays FRIDAY. you dont know how happy i am that school week has ended. :)

also, since i forgot to mention it yesterday, 4E6 (my class) won debate finals. -cheers- lol, so proud of lizzy, von, bimin and kiran. they were living and breathing debate for weeks. -.- they completely deserved it.

ive got quite a lot of things to do this weekend. there's chinese zuowen, a maths, chem wses, physics. and of course have to study chinese. though my chinese o lvls are only 2 weeks away, i confess not studying chinese for a long time already. >.<

i must buck up. -grits teeth

my this term grades all suck. except for a maths.
alright, gtg.
God Bless all.

alrighhts.

today was a basically blah day. nothing much took place, except that mr ang (my form teacher) wants to see me sometime. lolx. its concernin the yesterday reading book in chem class thing. oh, and did i mention i was reading book during english lesson while my classmates were presenting some oral thing? yeah. honestly, i feel that beats disturbing and distracting the whole class. its my deal, my loss (well, if there is).

reading is kinda of a release for me. nowadays i only read cheesy chick flicks or trashy romance novels. sorta like you'd know the endings always a happy one, plus its light hearted stuff. ive enough of the serious stuff from school already. when i get annoyed or i lose my cool, reading helps a lot. it sorta whisks you off to another world where no one can touch you. that is, until someone interrupts you or takes your book away. -.- lolx i duno, lately i just like hiding my self in a corner and i want the world to ignore me. this "world" refers to school of course. church is my time to relax. thats when i can really swing loose. =)

and no, i dont lose my cool easily. i hate losing my cool. i dont see the point. ;)

i do realise i have a few short months to the prelims. my only subject which is really on track is my a maths. im fifth in class =)) the rest.. well, no idea. my chinese is alright i suppose. a B3 for CA and SA. not fantastic, but not too bad either. my crap subjects, are shockingly my humans and my e maths. my chem and physics swing about. it depends on the topic and chapter im studying..

i guess im not stupid, but my brain's highly underused. i reek of "slack" too much. i keep saying that, but im not doing much about it.

OH CRAP. i just remembered. i fgt to choose the songs to lead worship. oh crap oh crap. blah, i keep fgting. i'd love it if someone please please remind me? haha.. i cant remember who's my team either.. =/

actually ive no idea which JC to go or what course i shd take. no faintest idea. im not strong in any department i guess. im good when i try hard enough. heh, but i usually dont. -.-

alrights better move off. seeya all.
God bless, always. :)

okay. big bombshell here.

[edited and sensored by me] what you have read, keep to your selves.

schools boring today. no important lesson. like a maths! :) i love a maths now. its so darn easy. now's LEGACY period. they brought some junk pep talk on managing our exams speaker. so rubbish. whatever he said i also can tell you. -.- lolx.

later on i going to geylang library to do CIP. i need to clock up my hours alright. did a bit of blog hopping. read a couple interesting stuff. =PP some dolt called me at 2am last night. geezus, no idea who. i cldnt be bothered, just slammed the off key. haha ;) oh well.

I AM GOING TO CHURCH CAMPP!! haha, you duno how elated i am. reeally. i love my God, i love my church, and i love my church people, i really do. =) all the girls are really cool and fun, and the guys are really funny and LAME. :P especially the lamee tibia freaks. xDD

what can i say? God will provide. Amen.
that reminds me, get more designs for the youth teeshirt, and choose the songs to lead worship this wk. i hope i dont fgt to choose the songs. im so fgtful nowadays.. =/

alrights, enough of this.
back later. God bless all. =))

lolx. my A Maths got 84% this term. not too bad i suppose. but i failed my chem by 0.8%, so darn dumb. but nevermind, only 5 people passed i think. its so screw-y. i ace my a maths while my e maths is the pits. i better stop this wildly fluctuating grades. =/

oh guess wad, while i was doing more designs for the church youth teeshirt the school alarm system rang. i.e fire or something. anyway, all the girls in the computer lab flooded out. a case of false alarm. damn annoying. make me walk 3 levels down and 3 levels back up for no reason. -.- how dumb. and our vice principal congratulated us for "making a fast route down". lolx.

school people's are mainly tensed up. uptight. some are worrying over grades, some for the debate thing, some are just perpetually uptight and tenses. just like a taut string that might snap at any moment. anyway, i just get a bit put off lar. i dont get affected by anything except for people's mood. other people's moods.

and im kinda turning more and more "introverted" in a way. its like i prefer keeping to myself and doing my own "thing", even if i dont actually have anything to do. i like a lot of my private space, i need at least hours of it. -.- maybe its because of the crazy schedule i have..

but still, i am very happy. things has certainly been so much simplified since i was in sec one. i was looking thru my old blogs. too messy, too complicated. i can deal with school, i like my friends, i love going to church and i think my church people are kinda cool. what more can you ask for? lolx

alrights. im already1/2 hr late for tuition =P
see ya all. i did 2 teeshirt designs today. but i think i will delete one.
God Bless to those who have midyrs. =)

todays SATURDAAAYY.

did i mention how much i love weekends? how much i love going to church? haha, yeah lar. its kinda cool. xDDD i look forward to weekends all week. its like the major plus of the week.

im so slack. ahha. i didnt do much at all. i mean, like just flipped a coupla of pages and stuff. =/ i mean, like a maths, nothing much to do. and thats like the only subject im quite interested in. e maths. what can i say but ewww.. haha, and chem? some of the topics STINK. as for chinese, do you know how darn irritating it is to keep studying that? i mean, sure, ive got loads more to go, but its super frustrating. they test 5 hanzhi out of how many hundreds u learn. now that, is stupid.

later on youth church. rocks please. -grins widely. yeah, we're having our own youth shirt. black or blue based. designs are still on going. i sent in 2 considerations. im really scared that if we dont input they come out with some lame name like the ROLC Gang or crap like that. 0.o

life is kinda sad now. everythings revolves around grades, school and church. my life has become so dull. -.- unlike before. lolx. did i mention nicole kidman's really pretty? i watched the Interpreter. quite cool stuff. =)

and strangely, i have all sorts of people i duno msging me. -.- i think some peoples been using my phone, often. -glares- lolx.

my biggest wishes for this term: ace my chinese (distinction), go to church camp and youth, start rerving up the engine. ;)

Qué puedo decir yo? las reglas como usuales de espíritu práctico sobre mí. deseo por los seis meses para terminar rápidamente. por supuesto, estoy no seguro si este sentimiento ni tan, durará.
God bless. ;)

mm, so busy these few days.

mon; chinese tuition
tues; skipped a maths tuition, went TM (dull and horrible place)
wed; chinese tuition THEN physics. i nearly died. i fell asleep i assure you. lolx
thurs; chinese sch paper; then parkway with sch people. it was raining. veryvery drenched. xD
friday; went orchard with jocelyn and joy. joce's bday. watch the Interpreter.

yar. my amaths, hehs, is getting better. this yrs topics i dont have any problems. except when i panic and i fgt. =/ my e maths is total shit tho. A1 for a maths and i think i failed e maths. so crappy. my last chem test was alright. physics... no comments. -.- haha!

but im pretty happy, though tired. i cant believe how many times ive really fallen sick this year. i hardly fall sick. like, once two years. oh well. i still havent budged my parents for the church camp thing. arghh. I WANNA GO. -screams. lolx. and i tink theres youth camp too. busy life. i needta ace my chinese in the mean time

gotta go. more later

take care all

hah. havent updated in AGES. -.-

whats been happening is this. im flat out busy. and i hardly touch Tibia anymore. well, muchmuch lesser than before lar. maybe a few times a week for half hour. ummm. im improving. i just gotta quit sleeping.

i enjoy sleeping so damn much nowadays; after the repeated times i got sick. >.<>that much. just more than usual. lolx. im skipping a maths tuition today to get joce's bday present. no choice cos tmr's chinese n physics tuition and thurs' the school's chinese full paper. that sucks. yah. and im flat broke.. =/ -sigh.

anyway, he took a plane out already. yup. nothing much to say about that either. unlike most people, im hardly overly emotional or anything. practicality please. =P

people are becoming chao muggers, its scary. especially Queen O Muggers, Natasha Tan; the former slacker-in-arms. why do i feel like im the only one not studying my ass off. -.- bah. i shall x100 try to gear up the cranky old engine. and hope it doesnt die out..

chinese o lvls' in less than a month. three wks i believe. i wanna go Church Camp. my parents dont think its a good idea. but its only THREE short days. i shall convince them somehow by hook or by crook. yeah. i like going to church stuff. its fun. XDDD and there's that youth camp too. -sigh- i better show them that im actually doing some work.. =/

a complete mixture of reluctance, boredom, sleepiness and annoyance.

i wish i could say SEC FOUR STINKS.
but, im qutie neutral and "no comment" at this sorta thing.

gotta go. lesson time.

michelle
100789
foursix, tkgs
06A201, mjc
LIVEWIRE!, rolc church
into God' friends badminton keyboard/piano
music reading tibia chocs sweets sleeping eating
contact: tungmichelle@hotmail.com

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