sunday was baptism. joyeee and joce were nice enough to come. =) yep. joce came for service and i picked joy up later on right before the baptism. wore white to get dunked in. big mistake. didnt realise the, er, extend of it, till i saw the darned photos. -cringe- anyway we went to bugis later on. yeah. took two sets of neoprints. quite a lot lah. yeah. monday's history CA was remarkably non-shocking. not difficult not easy either. thank God. stayed back to watch Lit screening of the Joy Luck Club. i watched the ferst nearly two hours of it before zhaoing for tuition. it was a sadistic show. of women being mistreated by men. stupid. i was bored stupid. well at least the ferst hour or so about it. it was the zhongnanqingnu time i think. good thing im not fro that era. i'd be labelled a black sheep. lol. im quite a pro-feminist-independence thing. yeah. of course, nowadays things are different i suppose. a girl can do anything a guy does. yeah. today was teachers day. the song thing... was okay i suppose. it was darn humid. packed all of us in like sardines in a tin. yuck. got hot and edgey after a while. ms diane and mr ang were so cutee! we dressed them up as the flintstones. literally. betty and fred is it? yeah. we won some prize for it. school ended at 12. went otu with nat to take neoprints and got abck home early enough to not let anyone realise it. the neoprint were really pretty. okays. talk more later on. dads niaoing to do a maths or smthg liddat. buhbyes.
[idontknow;keepitthatway]


yeah man. tody rocckked. i swear i adore my relatives. especially those on my dad's side. the whole family's a bunch of jokers. four guys and one girl; my poor aunty. she must have gone nuts with these sorta brothers. uncle peter wh and wc are really cool uncles lah. they beat most of my friends anytime lor. this morning had chinese oral and listening compre. it was hard. i kept lapsing into english during the oral. im not very fluent in it. gahness. i jus hope i pass. please oh please oh please. had a small meal with joy. wantonmee opp school. the weather was damn hot. sweltering. its melts you, i'd say. then rushed back home to change then went to grandpas house to have lunch. they catered. so it was really not bad. and all the relatives all came. from malaysia, hk, australia etc. not too sure actually. some of them are 'camping' in my house. =s so annoying. my phone keep vibrating. and i keep picking it up. then it vibrates again. and i pick it again. wah lao. !! mom went to do her hair and dad went to pick samuel up from band. yeah. later on tonights the birthday dinner. yays. i dont like what im supposed to wear. that longggg skirt. okay, not that long. its knee length. not above, nor below. just right at the knee. yicks. so not used to so long skirts. sorry lah. verehvereh used to short ones. and have to wear collar. okay lor, since wearing like that so stupid, so im wearing a stupid tie to match. my uncles, cousins etc all wearing. heh. then we said we all spike up hair as well. diaos. 0_o thank God monday's test is history SBQ. that one dont need to study much one. just flip thru sorta thing. yay. today i am happy. and dont you dare spoil it. dont you just dare. i havent had a truely good day in ages. how sad right? oh weels. my stupid hair's getting long and its sticking out all over i again. reyes says its an "artistic" stickout. well. didnt know stickouts can be artistic. i layered it a lot a lot. shawn just tells me to chop it all off and become a nun. how nice. =P okays, gotta go type out the scrpt thingy. shall indulge in lemon chicken ferst. from the catering. buhbyess.


tired stuff. slept late again last night. i messed up my e maths formative [5 out of 15] but nvm, over all i got 79% for this term for that subject. -shrugs- my history's above average as weell. so far im above average for everything, except maybe chinese and physics. nearly dozed off during mdm hassan's class. did get hell from her if i really did. hassan's, well, scary. stayed back for teachers day rehearsal today. but before that went to the MP library with Joy in that really short denim skirt. gah. i gave up wearing that skirt and yanking the hem down changed immediately when i got back to class. borrowed a couple of books then went to parkway to eat. met liz, wy, yvonne, h simin at the foodcourt. lizzy's new specs look nerdy. but in a cute way. =) heh. met even more people at the bus stop to go back to school. didnt go cca today. teachers day rehearsal take priority over it. todays the sec 4 farewell thing. only knew about its existence yesterday afternoon. anyway didnt tell us it was complusory to go, so few sec threes did. i mean, its not as if we really care lah, sorry. we dont even know who's our snrs, being that our levels cca days are on completely different day, times etc. so i didnt go. no one from my class did. except for adora. apparently mr ang chewed sweehuang out for the "poor turnout". please lah. its not her fault. but its not our fault either. what, expect us to go on such a short notice ah. or to go and say buhbyes to some group of snrs we dont know? the only thing i rmb of them is that most of the sec 4s in this cca were a bunch of twerps. i wont go more into that. yeah rushed home straight after rehearsal at 6. got out of the house to have dinner with my distant relatives who flew in for my grandpa's 80th thing. thats tomorow. so i got some aunty camping in my room. gah. i dont like people stepping into my space. possessive i guess. especially when i dont know them. =s tomorows chinese oral and listening compre. so -not- prepared. but whatever lah huh. tired tired tired. say more later buhbyes.
[deludedstill]


whooopeee here i am stuck doing my grandpa's 80th bday screen show again. i dont mind it. but they keep changing it again and again. how annoying. oh weels. hahaha, oh yes, now im not so sure again. thank you so very very much. hmrph. watched Singapore Idol. the jessea girl was not bad. good, in fact. this guy, i think the echoboy's guy, was good in the sense that he was marketable, he wasnt that bad looking, comfortable on stage. okays, i mean he cld sing on tune, but nothing fantastic. the david de cruz guy wasnt good at all. not that i was surprised anyway. olinda put up a good show, but i for some reason just bu shuang her. im not too sure why either. -shrugs- tired out, nearly fell asleep during tuition just now. in school i was already half dead, what more now? its getting really weird. i hardly fall sick. practically never and here i am, one moment down with sore throat, the next with cold, and at times fever. i'd never admit it to my parents though. not like they'd not let me go to school or smthg. yeah. i think its all the work, the papers week by week, the projects and all that bogging me down. it does suck. i mean, im not even sec four. and already every week got so many tests. we didnt even have one weeks break without a test. sometimes they amounted to five or six tests when it got really bad. in a glum sorta mood, i suppose. plus that infernal flash project. im still whining about it. i dont really care if i do. im really bad at flash. and shawn, reyes, some of my kors are telling me that my school is mad. in fact d.'s words was exactly like this," no wonder suicide rates are getting higher and higher". lol. ate wantonmee with wy for lunch then zhaoed back to do the flash project with yvonne. good progress though. more on that and stuff on the entry below. im just -tired-. and tomorrows teacher's day full dress rehearsal. whooopeee again. sorry, im just in a total down and out mood. and that blog didnt help either. see you.
[ideludedmyself]


guess where am i?? in the school computer lab feverishly working on the damn flash project. one of them anyway. so far its going good. really. its pretty easy because i kinda did a short cut and used "swishzone" program instead of macromedia flash. but im going to export over to flash to make it seem i did it from the scratch of scratches. =) its going good. but im now just worried about the surprisingly singapore one. that ones scary. im half out of my head over it. tuitions later on and i still havent done any of my homework. darnit. laoshi's not gonna be happy again. ever since i flunked my CA by two marks. 0_o but overall i did pass i think. todays a relatively good day. just a plain out right tiring one. slept at one plus. one of my kors called at 11pm plusplus after his trg. and talked a bit lor.. i felt as though i got steam rollered over a dozen times when i woke up this morning. things were pretty smooth in school today though. i escaped mrs geh's wrath by copying off ang simin's hw. and i dozed off physics because mr tan isnt in school. and i read storybook during e maths, ms diane's lesson. i think she has quite given up on me. she'd just call my name a few times every lesson to make sure i caught something. i managed to answer and do the questions she set. bah. i havent listened to any of her lessons. but today, none at all except for a minute here and there. it was pretty simple stuff. but just dont go asking me on the details. i just know the stuff vaguely. but good enough to do the qns i guess. i guess i improved a lot form last term; from a fail to an A1; maybe thats why she knows i wont want to fail. that much anyway. -shrugs- who knows and cares anyway. as long as no one interrupts my reading. whenever im reading and get interupted, you'd just bet i'd be in a stinking bad mood. =s worked all night yesterday on grandpa's 80th bday screen show. and its still not done. my eyes need a break. oh man. i want to SMACCKK chua wanyun. whats with you and buying those?? !!! -sighs- your mother bought you a dozen of the SAME kind last term. you went on to buy somore, 8 isit, just a week or two ago. now THREE more?!!! i smackk you okay. you think you change five times a day? -laughs hard- the nuttiness of it all. as you can see, the mad people in this world amounts to a lot. gotta run, buhbyes.
[thinknotofyou]


i havent been on blogger much lately. 0_o busy time. not as bad as the last few weeks, but grandpa's 80th bash on saturday. had to do up the whole screen show, the photo editing, the invitation cards, the works. and now they want me to do a "short" performance. whatever it means. so im gonna have to do an english song and a chinese song. problem? the guitar and the keyboard accompliment [my spelling stinks]. the song's chords, notes, are way too complicated to learn in what, two days. plus the teenyweeny fact, my younger cousins want to join in. problem? they cant sing for peanuts. as usual in school, things seem too normal. lizzy got 19 for english compre. proness. top in class. i think like 2/3s of the class failed, maybe. i scraped by a mark or two. i wasted at least four marks. =s in this strange mood now. ive got to hand it to myself though, i managed to control my temper in 10 seconds flat. i hate it when certain people use that irritating tone. my fingers and feet get very itchy. or use certain terms. it drives me off the clift. and worse still, the poor old dear, i bet you, doesnt know it. yet. too bad, friends are friends. and im not gonna throw up a whole hoolabaloo over it. in a year and a quarter, i'd be out of here. went to support jolene o's tennis "match" yesterday. so darn hot. sweltering in the sun. yuck. they played... i think 12 sets. so long. after which wy, liying, me and jolene went delifrance in parkway to eat lunch. a total yabbering session. yeah. mom called at four, i said i was eating in foodcourt; duckrice and i went to chemistry supplementary on sulphuric acid or smthg liddat. she hates me spending money. what more delifrance. i said i'd be back in half hour. at nearly six, she called again, and i said it was pouring heavily just now and i was in katong already. so not. i took taxi back from parkway. by the time we wanted to leave, then we realised it was raining. lol. oh weelss. so happens im broken hearted. how sad. -sighs- grades shall be the bane of my life, no, my whole existence. i aced my last term but counted for this term CA. top in class. i failed miserably this term, though i just dont know why. who cares if nearly the whole class failed. the paper was easy. and my chemistry practical, forget it, i just blew it away. i needed three more marks to pass. oh weels. so sadddd... ahhh.!! nvm. its done with. my grades improved slightly from last term. but definitely not as well as the ferst term. i shall not harp on it. and that reminds me, ive got two major flash animation projects to get done this week. and guess what? i havent started at all. hooray. shalll run off now. chemistry tuition later on. i miss my primary school days. ah. foolish thought.
[notsosureanymore]


today went church early again for worship practice. the last song was way too fast and too long; my fingers got really sore. and my foot too. i mean there that pedal at the feet you know. did my testimony infront of the congregation as well, and apparently i used a lot of "blahblahblah" 's to cut my so called speech short. 0_o then after that, everyone was like 'blahblahblah' to me. oh weels. =s anyway natasha gave me my super belated birthday present. lolness. timberland khaki coloured wind breaker. its super big as well. i think my size is like S. i meann its unisex what. and i got size L. nvm. its a lovely present anyway, thanks! =) i dunno but lately a lot of people are pms-ing. its so annoying. and i dont geddit as well. whats the big deal with having secrets? everyone has secrets. its not like i expect to know everything. i dont, and i dont want to either. you can just say i dont really care. anyway i jus adore my layout. its black. one of my favourite colours. tomorow's a maths CA, and i have yet to do a proper study. was suppose to study before lunch and after dinner yesterday; did nothing of that sort. and this afternoon at like three, my dad chased me to do my a maths, and i did... is it two questions? -shrugs- im seriously unmotivated now. very. the topics are trigo. and i hate drawing out the tangent graph. prefer the cosine and sine ones. its more convenient. oh yes, had baptism interview also. of course i "passed", so to say. and swallowed down two bowls of tausuan. and felt sick after that. and worse still, the two bowls were barely 3/4s full. and its the small styrofoam type. its small lor. tiny maybe. my appetite just sucks nowaday. shall look at more layouts now. buhbyes.
[ijustdontcare-]


ooh. apparently my blog keeps taking so long to load up! sorry! lol. went hopping mad because of that ever irritant xw. sometimes i wish i could kick him. anyway, my tell-all speech got cut into half because my msn in my laptop crashed. fantastic. oohh. this is just sooo fun!! -jumps ard- shall be back later on. have been online for over two hours. i feel so... unaccomplished. buhbyes


neeeeeww layout? whaddya think? i think its nice alright. but im not sure which is nicer. the previous one or this one. i mean the prev one was kinda more relevant y'know. ive been online for an hour. parents arent in; not doing my a maths revision either. found four nice layouts and edited them all. so i can change layout as and when i want to. gah. my tagboard is screwd up. the design is not supposed to be like that. -sighs- i bet myshoutbox.com has messed up. again. oh weels. went to parkway crystal jade for dinner. yucks. i dont like crystal jade. the atmosphere and the type of food. i cant stand it. i prefer food court to that thank you so very much. oh yes. shawnnnn! thank you! -laughs- stupid prig demands a thank you. later if he gen wo fan lian the you know... lol. that very nice person also wrote me an un-understandable testimonial. -winces- i know your -whatever- language very pro, but dont show off lah! =P lol. im pretty sure its french. my dad taught me some french when i was younger. yeah. but i cant make out much of it. only bits and pieces too small to figure it out. reyes says she'd translate it word by wordfor me if i wanted. but i think i'd try my hand at the translation with the darn dictionary i have ferst. like unraveling a mystery of some sorts. lol, if you do happen to see it and understand it, let me know alright? like, give me a clue. lol. okays. my necks got a crinch. ouch. leaning over the keyboard for the last hour or so has given me a back ache straight out. oh yes. did i mention what happened in parkway mph? geezus. i got hit on by this guy i dunno. i think hes like seventeen. but you never'd know nowadays. people can easily look younger or older. -shrugs- of course i didnt give him my number! okays shall get off now. buhbyess.
[do i or do i not]


working like mad on grandpa's brthday screen show. and got arrowed to do a short performance. so what else? ing some song lor. but my chinese really sucks. oh weells. kinda woke up early at eight plus today and did some tuition work. sorta arranged the "outing" with the ex haig girls people. so the group of us are most probably going out. -sighs- my gosh. im getting stinking bad at planning. and when i ask sheryl for her opinion, she tells me "anything". 0_o lol. anyway cant wait i guess. primary school was the best. yeah... parents both just went out. to fetch my brother from band and my mom needs to pick up some clothes from parkway which she sent for alterations or something. i guess i dont really go find out what my family members does. kinda like an indivualistic lifestyle. probably if i hadnt heard my mom telling my maid that they were going out, i'd still be oblivious. thats how things are here. and i kinda like it that way, hahha. shawn moved blog again. but has so kindly ensured i'd not link him by threatening. lol. =) tomorows worship pract and they still havent mailed me the song list yet. so disorganised. and slow. i think my maids boyfriend is nuts. crazed. if she doesnt on her handphone in the morning and goes maket with my mom for a few hours, he calls her handphone a dozen times. and msges another few times. and then calls the house another five more times. he is mad. totally. besotted. possessive like hell. possibly mad too. if i ever had such a boyfriend, i'd chuck him out; and quick too. geez. imagine going to the toilet and he calls you cant pick up. he'd start freaking out and calling the house, and msging. and you've only gone to the toilet. =s i cant deal with people trying to "mummy" me. kinda independent, i think. but of course, i wouldnt mind a free ride wherever. convenience sakes, y'know. ooh. read wanyuns blog. -pokes you- wah lao... -sighs- shall not comment. lol. anyway better go do the screen show. i just cook instant mee!!! fantastic stuff. okays, buhbyess.


ahhh. why did you have to apologise? i wanted to stay pissed even longer. hah. you steal all my fun. =p im so stinking stupid. i cant even stay mad more than an hour. gah. lousy bum face.


pissifying. plain pissifying. how stupid. it really goes to show, sometimes you really shdnt give a damn and dont turn up. some people are just plain blind. and thinking you are oh-so-right, you accuse me how doing something i did not do. or rather i actually did do. get your stupid eyes fixed. i hate it when people accuse me of things that arent true and when you jolly well are in a bad mood because you messed up as well. so go fix your problem and dont comment on others, when you dont know everything. i was so stinking pissed off. raging and boiling all over. and i controlled my temper, or i'd chuck all my books and files at your stupid blind head before i board the damn bus. hahahaha! you are -so- funny. while someone, im not sure who, said goodbye, i was trying my hardest not to do a round about and throw my damn load of files. kinda of stalked up the bus without much of a glance. and really if you dont believe, i dont care. because you know nothing. so dont go pointing fingers when you arent happy. and oh worse stil, you had the guts to accuse me right in front of a whole group of people. i wont stay pissed off for more than a few days or a week, but you'd bet i remember. -scowls darkly- im totally disgusted. and my brother had to piss me off by irritating me the moment i stepped home. so much for a nice uneventful day. whatever. got loads of stuff to for grandpa's 80th birthday. in a maddening rush now. and tests to study for next week. plus more work. and this week ive got keyboarding practice as well. yicks. anyway shall go take a bathe and hopefully cool myself down. all my uncles and aunties and cousins shall rampage my house tonight for the preparation of my granddad's birthday. how fanstatic. buhbyes
[ragefire-]


today mdm hassan told me i dont need to do the interview anymore!!! i was so damned happy. i guess she's scared i'd blurt out something not too guai. and i arent exactly that.. -shrugs- big deal, i dont want to wind up on tv looking like a manufactured plastic doll, no, not doll, manufactured perfect miss priss student clones. gah. just the thing they all want us to be. secretly of course. of course they'd tell you stuff like "oh we encourage creativity and diversity" and all that shit. but do you think so? out of 10, probably one. if your lucky, two. anyway followed wheee back to primary school. and it started raining half way. 0_o we dragged poor wanyun along. yeah and stupid wanyun kept thwacking whatever im holding and... well, wont go into it. stupid girl. -glares- i dont want your help in that. lolness. yeah and apparently according to lizzy, while we were atdunman food court, dunnowhos were staring at me. bcos of my "short" skirt. wearing home stuff cos we're doing some practice stuff for teachers day. nothing to say about that. you know what. im quite turned off by certain people. -scowls- some times even your friends got an attitude problem. but everone has once in a while i guess. just some people more frequent than others. -sighs- this is so yick.talked to 12 smthg with natasha yest. stupid girl has gone weird. its like when the master whistles, the dog comes running. hahahah! okay shant say anymore. todays just another stupid, boring, maddening day. i shall cry under the covers when i get home. =)
[idontcare.]


singapore idol was sorely disappointing. just so disappointing. the ones they featured were nothing great. their vocal ranges were seriously unimpressive. i just hope that the certain parts that i did not catch had better idol hopefuls. okay, most of them can lift a tune, but nothing special. nothing stands out. even worse, some of them look. weird. plain weird. never mind about it. anyway ive been doing nothing the whole night but powerpoint for my grandpa's 80th birthday. it so happens my swishzone flash program trail died on me. so my uncompleted but nearly done one is a matter of just wasted work. so i had to restart all over using powerpoint. that unimpressive, amateurish program which i simply hate to the core at times. it is just so - yuck now. oh and why am i rushing it? because my dad just told me i had to have it done by e tomorow night, becos all my relatives were coming down to check on the darned progress. fantastic. and so many photos are missing. so much information is missing. im going nuts. and my parents arent helping either. ive got a good mind to chuck it down the toilet bowl. shant rant anymore. got the damn tape ing tomorow. yucks for today and the next. just. darn. it. -sighs-
[screeeaaaaamms!]


okay jocelyn got her phone consficated. and shes wracked with guilt. poor girl. lol. =) a maths is getting decidedly easier and easier. but chinese is getting bad to worse. we've got to learn 4 chapters in TWO weeks. gahness. and we've got that upcoming and severely threathening CA. i HAVE to pass that test, or i'll just die. my laoshi is not very happy about it. ;S lit was - weird. miss ang was. weird too. eeeyeuchh. you dont wanna know whst she did. im a super touch-me-not when it comes to adults. eeyer. you shd see wanyuns face. it was sooo... eyyerr. i cant describe it in any other way. did i mention i slept from yesterday 7pm to 6.30am today. lol i was so tired after chem tuiton that i hit the sack and went to sleep and didnt wake up till this morning. a big surprise. i tot my mom would wake me up to do work. =s oh wells. so now im in jocelyns house helping her with the designs for the PSL board. and im not even a PSL leader. see? as usual im so nice. lolness. jocelyn saw this and sighed loudly. -glares- lol. go tuition ater on. just completed my tuition work. i copied off again. no surprise there. a basically boring day. really boring. except for the few bitching parts. you really dont wanna know. tomorow im going for videotaping. it might be on national tv. yuck. im -so- not looking forward to it. i bet you they want our socks way high. and our beltsplaster high high up your waists and you hair tied like a lost lillte school girl. yuck again. i shall protest. strongly. okay gotta get off. buhbyes
[looking.still]


ohmygosh shit. ahhh. you know there was this birthday CME project thing? the one where you research on significant things that happened on your birthday? so happens the one i quickly did got in. and they want to videotape the ones that got selected. i cant even believe it. it was so damned ugly. so malu. can i pull back that one and hand in a nicer one? -sighs- worse part, you know the part which requires you to talk about your "relation" to the bridge? i said that i would take the bridge to walk home from kindergarten. problem is; my kindergarten was never around there. i dont even know WHERE is the coleman bridge for goodness sakes. shoots. and they want to tape and ask questions? it could be on National TV for all you knew. oh no. so i told mdm hassan that what i wrote wasnt really true. hehheh. she wasnt too happy about that and asked if i ever went there or smthg liddat. i said i visited relatives beforeand used that bridge. another lie. darn it. ahhh. ohkay so here i am now researching on the damned bridge. okay so its at boat quay. die lah. i havent been there for so long. okay better go research more later. -sighs- i dont want to do this. and i dont want to be tape. yuck. and worse, in my ugly green school uniform. i am dead. i shall pray that i'll get thru this in one piece. anyway my class has gone completely gaga over the olympic atheletes. jocelyn swears ian thorpe, pieter van de hoogenband, micheal phelps and dunno who else are cute. and she went mad to go collect their newspaper cuttings with their photos. and you should see the whole class argueing about it. i think half the class has gone mad. how could -they- be good looking. im disgusted. yuck. ian thorpe looks like his hair got yanked by unruly fans in all direction. and micheal phelps just look... sian. and half dead. and for pieter van de hoogenband or hoogieband as i pronounce it, is seemingly normally un-cute. but yay for the badminton susilo guy. not bad. =) maybe finally a chance to get a medal after the swimmers and the pingpong-ers bomb out. gahness. -sighs- i really dont want to do the taping. i had that "huh what me" face while mdm hassan told us. whhhhyyy. shoots. now what? okay i'll just go do my research. and hope mdm hassan doesnt realised that i changed the story -again- if they is a need for me to tell it.no actually its qutie impossible. im just hoping against hope that they wont ask about the background story. bcos it will all be one lie. gahness me. okay better go run. tuition soon. how embarrasing. i wish i handed up an even uglier work. and the one i handed in was ugly enough.
[helpme;killingmesoftly]


weird. this is all just so weird. i flunked both maths last term and this term im getting 80s. i aced chemistry last term and i flunked it this term. strange stuff. like the worlds been tipped upside down. -shrugs- went MP library with Joy today. borrowed five books only. i usually borrow eight. i copped my moms library card. lol. =) went parkway after and ate whata fish. my gosh. haven been there for ages and im telling you the fish and chips there rock. beats fish and co and long johns by far. yummilicious stuff. and then i was stoning. i dunno, but ive been in this weird mood the moment i walked out of school. it settled it so abruptly. -shakes head- wanted to find my dear cousin, Christine's, birthday present. its just so stinking hard to buy her anything! she has already so damned much that her tables are constantly overflowing with new junk. 0_o an eyepopper each time i go to her house. anyway when Joy left, i suddenly decided not to go home and sat at BK by myself reading books and doing work. or trying to rather. fearless #31 and #32 is shit. totally brings your day down. its all about this girl without the fear gene who kicks ass who happens to be a babe with an 168 IQ or smthg like that. and people are constantly trying to ruin her life and assasinate whoever she knows and she herself . i.e the faceless guys at some secret agency or some junk like that. i do like stories which has fighting, but this is ridiculous. at every book, she is hit with another major crisis. oh gosh damnit. usually its alright. but this time, guess what? she got all namby-pamby and out of character over this decision she made. these two books are just depressing AND stupid. okay, it is the usual punk independent chick kinda flick but, you gotta say that sometimes they are interesting in an odd way y'know. it totally made my day sink to i-suffered-in-hell type. forget it. whenever im in unexplainable moods i shall stay off these sort of books and read the stereotypical romance novels. at least the story ends at some point. and the endings a relatively ensured; a happy one. im beginning to hate books that go in series. and the story just goes on... and on... and on... and you just want to scream. bah. life is tragic enough; no thanks to the dying and depressing books anymore. especially for my type, i get too engrossed in the darn book. okay no more of that. getting riled up. anyway i got my A for my compo again. guess thats alright. i want to do better. my compo standards have not improved a drop since i entered here. secondary school english lessons are a plain waste of time. my fingers are aching. been working on a church testimony sorta thing. im at... 800 words. and still going. better run. buhbyes.


today went church early [again]. had backup singing to do. todays message by geoffrey goh was a hoot. i and natasha were laughing ourheads off all the way. rocks stuff. anyway had youth cell after that... and came back home late and tired, only to have a sudden impulse to clean my toilet. nuts i am, i swear. im a neat freak sometimes. so i splashed water about and threw peach soap all over to make it smell nice. my mom came along and said i did it all wrongly. so she made me do it the hard way. by getting down to scrub and using all the weird powder stuff. eeyeeuch. hard work. especially since i was still wearing that very short skirt i had on in church. 0_o after that i nearly never wanted to go to that toilet again. i was contemplating using my parents or my brother's toilet to bath and stuff. but ruled that out later. too inconvienient. didnt do much studying after that. was instructed to mug a maths or physics, but i just flipped open the book and switched on the radio. went out to some lousy restaurant or shop house or whatever you call it for dinner. the food was so-so and the lime juice was so sour i turned green. saw a cute guy. pretty much a boring day with totally no mood to study. oh yes i have put it in my mind again that i shall not be angry. or try my hardest to. because i'd be angry for no reason becos they'd not even realise it with my poker face or i'd be unwilling to say anything. a pure strain for nothing on the nerves. got keyboard-ing to do next week so i'd have to wake up early again. =s and have to do a testimony in front of the church. thats one week before my baptism. gahness. and i might be leading worship next month. nervy thing. back to school tomorrow. this weekend was no rest at all. this stinks. im just dying to go and sleep early. next week not much tests, thank God. my brain has been going flat for me for the last few weeks. its completely down now. i'd better go write out the testimony. im still stuck at it after 40 mins. God help me.
[strained;stillyou]


feel kinda sad now. im suppose to act gracious and all that shit to be a nice human being right? it still stings, i guess. it really does. i know that i shouldnt be this way. i really want to scream. and i really want to slam the door shut and never look back. but who am i kidding. i can never walk away. its kinda half in half out. it really does suck. really, im usually not like this. its like ive gone all jelliod and soft. and d tells me they already warned me. but did i listen? oh no no no no, i didnt.. i guess i'd be just staying away. keeping a distance. i really cant take anymore. i might just crack any moment. i really cant. -sighs- guys, girls [you know who you are]: im sorry okay. but somethings thats the way things are. i dont want to think so much now. the more i think the more unwanted answers pour out. i wish to be naive. but its already too far gone to catch. i want someone whos dependable. a good friend. guy girl whatever. so far, its been a hard thing. the ones who could be there, are in a way in a too different a world. as usual i shall blame the damned hormones.
[intherainyoucanttell]


im tired. tired of you. tired of them. tired of trying to be nice. tired of stopping myself lash out and make you hate me. tired of me. tired of this life. no i won't do suicide. not my type of thing; usually that is. its a total strained thing. a little sliver or line which holds you back from walking your path. and that little sliver justs jars it all. i want to be naive. God help me. -bangs head on the wall- i guess its just junk aura shit thing. this life is driving me gonzo. crazed. it just got to be a two way sorta thing. i wish i could just disappear from this earth and float aimlessly about. floating. a never ending trip. i dont understand why some people; most; get all the luck. without even working for it. like i said, im tired and desperately need a break. just give it to me okay?
[execution]]


today was in a word: stupid. woke up so early on a saturday to go to east coast beach for cross country cum zany parade. yeah my class won the running thing for sec three level. and top runner in level. and top dunno what else. but we did miserably at the dressing up thing. it was a total jap anime crashes into avril school girl look. and apparently i got that very "dao" or poser expression. -shrugs- oh wells. we had to change in the open. no not strip off and change. kinda like discreetly with cloths as over and all that. it was dead hot and i was dying to strip off. which of course, i didnt. supposed to go out today. the arrangement got screwed up. i hate it when people change their minds or change the current arrangements and dont even bother to tell you. and try to get away with it. its dead annoying. and pissifying. and gives you some shit thing about asking someone else when you didnt even bother to consult; to ask at all! pissifying. i wont go to full detail. it'd get me more pissed off. i was itching to switch the program on and wipe out their computer stuff. to wreck their webs, their accounts. and mess up their emails. but i decided not to. knew that i'd regret it cos more trouble would come out of it. i guess i was stupid enough not to listen to -them-. they knew from the start, and so did i. but i strayed from the path. oh yes.. ive been meaning to emigrate for ages. maybe this is the time. right before sec four o lvls. -shrugs- three people or four are down for the x. anyway the whole stupid ordeal ended late. because they wanted to count heads before leaving. and already half the school had left. stupid. i cant believe i blew reyes off for this. got practice later on. things are quite screwed up now. and you know what, i just shant care. its really not worth bothering. kinda like ignore the worm and walk away. tired. and hot. i shall go and sleep before i go out. buhbyes.
[cold.that thing will bring you down]


at home now. blogging for the third time today. so damned tired. and oh guess what. i left my chem file outside the computer lab. and i got a chemistry test early next week. -scowls- im just bloody brilliant. right right right. i spoke to shawn finally after so long! -laughs- that stupid pokeface keeps disappearing without realy telling us where he goes. lol. =) ohh. i just messed up the blog design once. but i havent published the messed up one so now the "good" ones on. wait till i find a nicer one huh? the more i look at the photo [ie. links' two entries down] the more i think i look retarded. -sighs- shoots another errard to run for a lost friend. buhbyes


yes! new layout. its not that great. but its very fitting, like reyes said. too fitting. 0_o im done with the flash finally. but two more to go i think. yucks. gotta run. buhbyes.


yesterday went bugis with jocelyn and joy. the first thing we did was to take neoprints. hehs. jocelyn said that if she took before she ate, she'd look slimmer. 0_o the neoprints were alright i suppose. have yet to scan my favourite for friendster. =) oh yes. take a look at the photo we took on national day. i wish i was more photogenic. -grins wryly- http://photos1.blogger.com/img/52/1471/640/goody%20frenz.1.jpg this the national day one of the few we took. anyway we ate at kfc and walked bugis village and upstairs @ bugis. my gosh. the stuff there were amazingly cheap. compared to all those takashimaya, tangs and robinsons junk. way way cheaper. and not all that bad. today went singpost with jocelyn and joy and jolene o. looked at clothes at this fashion for the zany parade; i.e the look-like-a-idiot-and-pretend-its-fun parade at east coast park. we are supposed to wear HIGH socks. dang. i hate them, i swear i do. the theme for us is stereotypes. and at first we were doing ah lians, but it turned out more poser-avril lavigne-sk8erboi look. supposed to wear short denim pleated skirts so i bought one. and then they changed it today to just denim skirt. x_x all the money for nthg. gahness. its actually rearly quite short. no bending down or over i guess. darn full, ate at kfc yet AGAIN. jocelyn's idea. so tomorow im going to be at east coast beach at 7am sweating my life out. oh yuck. i hate this flash thing. its driving me nuts. just nuts. completely being PMS-ey, and stressed out. its been a total roller coaster with my poor blood pressure. it shoots up so much everytime i get my test papers back. oh yes i passed history!!! yayness. 14 people flunked. i was so surprised i passed. thats really good. and about 10 people got 13 out of 25 marks so... im above average. i got 14. =s diaos. the highest is 17 lahh. so not that bad. hehs. very happy le. the first question i got the highest i think. with another girl in the class. the second qn, haha, i flunked. wrote out of point. and one sided. whatever lah. -shrugs- gotta go figure that flash thing out. darnest. buhbyes

[[maybetheresahope]]


ooh. who the hell who you think you are. bloody coward. if i was you id just say it right to the face. cut the stupid act. somehow i wish i had screwed you over earlier. pissoff. if you want to play, wait and see. this is a total bitch session. im in a mean mood. stay away.


hahahaa.. this saturdays Cross Country cum Zany Parade. so must go east coast park at 7.15am.. nuts. on a saturday somore. heh. i like sleeping lah. =) anyway the theme is stereotypes. and what my class is doing i have no hell idea. they picked bengs/lians but the thing is turning out more punk and poser like. top's supposed to be a tight white shirt. big big earrings. sports shoes. and denim pleated skirt or 3/4 khakis. sounds vereh poserish to me. heh of cos im doing skirt. jus that i dont have a pleated denim. so i shall borrow or buy. i walked the whole parkway and found none which i really liked except for that branded $90 one at Isetan. lol. no way my mom wld let me buy. shes been niaoing like mad that i spend too much money. total rubbish. my moms jus stingy. anyway that skirt was really really short but dead nice. short as in mini skirt short. hahahaha it looked great though. thank God for the tall genes. =) then went on to this fashion Sing Post. tried out five different ones. i mean i cant exactly go buying an expensive skirt for a one or two time thing right. i reserved one at this fashion. quite cheap. but im remarkably broke. 0_o altogether i tried out FIFTEEN skirts. madness. heh. poor krin had to follow me abt all over for the skirt. i dunno whether my mom will give me money to buy or not. and i doubt it too. at most i use my own. but i'd be broke flat. actually i think Zany Parades a hell waste of a time. and they gave a budget of $40 bucks for the whole class. utter rubbish. what can you buy with 40 bucks for 40 people? and weve got to build a stupid balloon float at least 3 by 3 metres wide too. in half an hour. and oh guess what. they only informed the chairmen on friday after school so we only knew today. and we've got... three days to find everything? bah. the bad news for this term is that i really screwed up. i failed my physics by two marks. failed my chinese by two marks. and chemistry by 20%. my physics and chinese overall can pass of course. but still... =x stupidstupidstupid. i really am very annoyed indeed. my chemistry is my best subject. i never got less than an A1 for it. and this time i got a 30%. why? because of the way i wrote out my answers. i wont go on. im stinking mad over it. i think only five people passed but thats no consolation. if only two persons passed chem, i'd jolly well be in the two. sorry, im really coming down hard on myself for chemistry. it was my only redeeming hope or else i'd get totally butchered up, massarced, roasted alive by my parents. now im already half body in hell. when they find out they'd bloooow. jocelyn asked me and joy and dunnowho else to go seoul garden tomorow. and i'd just realised the timing is all wrong. so sorry joce! gah. i'd rmb to go do the stupid english file and history filing before i forget. im already late for the english file. and i need to copy someones e maths chap 11a to d!!!! -sighs- tonights singapore idol as weell. i jus have this badbad feeling that im not going to be able to watch. though im dying to. ive got a maths formative tomorow. and my trigo totally sucks. we got scolded by mr k ang today. for the stupid humans day acting shit. sorry im totally unappreciative of it. i mean i wont say it loud right and give that buaysong face for everyone to see. but this is my blog, so im saying it as it is. it is a total waste of time. do you think anyone would really care and really want to watch? no. do you think we are so free to pull this sort of stunts for you? no. unforctunately, people like us barely have enough time to sleep. who cares what about chin peng or yamashita or whoever else? i mean they are dead people after all. -grins- shant go on. shall have to find a way to get that skirt. ive got to get off already. stuff to do things to see. buhbyes.


hohohohoho! singapore idol rockked. now i know the extend of weirdos out there. the classically singing guy from shanghai was really not too bad, but not suited. oh weells. poor fellow. the plane flight not cheap you know? hehs. ohohohhoh yess... the LEMON TREE guy!!! -cracks up in laughter- ohhhmyygosshh. whatthehell lah! my gosh. some people are really thick skinned. hahahaha! i cant wait to watch the next episode. this beats american idol straight out. the next episode has the "banana man. this stupid feller who wears a mask with fake bananas. oh yes did i mention that guy who whispered his song so softly the judges cldnt hear? ohkay i wont go on. i bet all you caught it as well. =) lols. im still sleepy. mom popped out dunnowhere so here i am on the comp tho im actually not supposed so. hahaha dont care lah. ooohh. im qite annoyed now. i saw smthg which made me go irritated like hell. grrr. oh fine. i shant care. i wont. and i mean it. -growls- why does it sound like im trying to convince myself. fact: i guess im into someone already. but i wont be afool to say it of course. because it wont go anywhere. im pretty sure of that. for now anyway. -shrugs- tough, i guess. -sighs- shant care, as the usual. thats right. straighten up, plaster on a damned i-heck-care smile and there you go. whatever. my house needs major renovation. the more i look at it the more i shudder. so... old. ohk not really, but it s time for some paint jobs, some new furniture. i think i shall get new tables and more book shelves. alarming thought. more book shelves when i already have a lot. yeah but my things are already overflowing our of my extremely large table. =s shall drag mom to go ikea or some furniture shop soon enough. the best parts of my room is still the enw aussino over priced quilt cover and pillow cover. bloody ex thing. ohkay shant yabber on. see ya. todays gonna be one hell of a long day now my my moms at home. work work and more work. sucks.
[[wontworkout//donttry]]


i love God
yes i do.
=)
[in an extremely lame mood now]

[[stillintoyou]]


went to church in the morning again. heh. everyones back to normal hanging ard talking yakking arguing status. thats normal. lol. kinda watch National Day show at the same time. the last chief minister for defense was uncle tuck yew, my moms NUS friend. the current one's my mom's Hwa Chong classmate. who knows, the one ten years frm now might be my mom's son. -pauses- hold on a sec. wont that be my brother. waitwaitwait. i take that back. if my brother is ever the chief minister of defence i'll puke and choke and die on my own saliva. 0_o nvm. im too lazy to update on the livejournal "theantiyou_" one. this is so annoying. it seems like people keep disturbing me when im on the computer. grrr. i mean one moments its my brother yakking that i use the laptop cos his stupid infernal dunno what runescape or gunboung shit has to use the main comp. yeahh right. stupid pest. then my mom tells me the guest's name for my granddads 80th big bash is wrong. so i gotta redo it all over for her, when she was the one who spelt it all wrong. it is so annoying. i hate being distracted when it comes to blogging or doing html codes. especially html codes. a bit and the whole thing screws up. my inbox been flooding with irritating smses too. by this ... buayhiaobai eeddiiot. nvm who. -scowls- now im in a bad mood. ooh. whats with it? my mom jus made a stupid comment about the rap group on the show. "sounds like total trash" right mom. so does your abba and dunnowhat else shit. gah. im in a stinking bad mood. im itching to kick something; someone. whatever. mom saw my blogspot header "clarify" jus now. if she reads it, well, its an invasion of privacy so if it leads to hurt of feelings, tough. you shdnt poke your nose where it doesnt belong. yeah. later ons singapore idol . ohhh yesyesyess. people making a fool out of themselves. lol. how funn. =)ohkays im getting off. see ya all. its sad to say im not very patriotic at all. i mean i'd yell at you whack you whatever if you say singapores the stinkest shit country and the people were all bitches, but i dont care for the national anthemn and all that. if better, eradicate the national anthemn. no one sings it anyway.


today went to church dead early before nine in PUNGGOL [vereh far okay] for worship practice. keyboard. i play alright but not fantastic or anything. been out of touch for piano for a long time. =s anyway had baptism class right after then rushed down for worship service itself. today wasnt that bad. the last song was good. i jerked in shock when suddenly XW hit the two drum sticks, [its drum_sticks, not chicken drumsticks], and start hitting out the tempo very loud and very fast. lol. surprisingly, he was good. i think nearly on par as XP. yeah. im too lazy to update over the livejournal site. hehs. dead tired, still. came back from church later than the rest at 2.30pm liddat. thats nearly six whole hours for ya. tiring stuff. anyway i hung ard the kitchen while i cooked lunch, instant noodles again. and nearly BURNT up my maids head. you know the lighter? my previous lighter was the spark type, but apparently the new one isnt. its the fire flame one. i clicked it and it shot out. nearly burnt my maids head. just one cm more and it'd be a flaming head you'd have there. yeah. went up and went to sleep. for two hours. dunno whats with me. i usually never never ever sleep in the afternoon. but too exhausted lately really. nexts weeks baptism interview. ooh, nervousness. and im doing backup singing. that means i gotta go there early again. it seems like i spend more time in church on sundays then at home sometimes. tomorows national day. im afraid, im not very patrotic. i dont really care. of course if your a foreigner and you tell me singapore is shit up and the people were all bitches, i'd put one on him/her. but stuff like singing the national anthem, and celebrating nats day? i dont quite give a damn. anyway i gotta go. buhbyes

hahaha. im meddling with the layout. im bored. the layout is; weird.. lol. shall do it up properly next time. guess where am i? i had to walk home myself dinner and dad drove mom and sam to Bible Study group so im in a internet cafe. =) hehs. i think what some people said were right. i just i AM into him. just that i hate that fact and i just want to deny it. i mean of all my relationships; ive always been able to let go. why not now? why? i jus don geddit. and as for friends, well, i think im stinking bad at it. ohkay, making friends is not a problem. but the further relationship? im not too fantastic at it. i think i have that "stay off" aura or some shit like that ard me. 0_o sucks. i wasnt like that in primary school. but then again i wasnt that different in primary school either. ah the innocence of it. i was at orchard cine with my friends on friday, and cldnt help but think of that time. ohkay, i wont go into it. -sighs- ive got a major problem. so help me. i think i will make this blog, well, unknown to everyone but a selected few. yeahh. i need a place where i can really really be honest. to myself. and not put up an act or hide things from my blog. a blogs, well, supposed to be a blog! yeahh. oh yes ive got family problems. my mom. so whats new. im dying to strangle her one day. which is not a good thing. no it isnt. lol. some people tell me what i need to do is to y'know, go get to know more new guys. i have no mood to do that. too lazy as well. -sighs- me and nat, are kinda weird ard each other. i cant believe she opened a new blog and didnt tell me. i mean she purposely hid it from me. she cld jus jolly well told me that she didnt want to use the current one i set up for her you know. i found out of course, the new one, and saw the tag on her board "michelle asked me why didnt i update" or smthg like that. geezus. what is all their problem. i dont care. i dont want to care. and so i shant. i wont.-squints hard- hey! cute guy 180 degs. -whistles- hahaha nono theres nothing wrong with looking, is there? hehs. but i still prefer looking at someone else. i think hormones are the ones which wreck havoc in your life. curse them all. shall stop now. buhbyes.


im sick of livejournal. and diary-x doesnt let me have "-" or "_" in my user name so im back heerre. =) yay. i'll have to decided which one im really gonna use -squints hard- hahaha. finally. i'll be back. btw, for these few days, it will still be at http://www.livejournal.com/users/theantiyou_/ but i'll be here soon. =) see you

michelle
100789
foursix, tkgs
06A201, mjc
LIVEWIRE!, rolc church
into God' friends badminton keyboard/piano
music reading tibia chocs sweets sleeping eating
contact: tungmichelle@hotmail.com

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